Who's The Boss?

Photohunt: Dirty

When Darius was around 18 months we took a field trip to a Sanitation Co with the local mother's club.  Nothing is dirtier than a Garbage truck, right?

Blog Day

This is the Third Annual Blog Day where bloggers introduce other bloggers from different countries or areas of interest.  Find out more at www.blogday.org

My five blog picks are:

1.  Have you checked out the DC Metro Mom's Blog.  It is a sister site of the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog where I am a contributing writer.  The blog is brand spanking new and is all about living in the DC area with kids.  Check it out.

2. Go read Kimchi Mamas for a dose of living in the US as a Korean Mama.   Having a mixed race child, I frequently read this collaborative blog for views on racism, diversity, kindness, and difference.  It is a fabulous blog where my fabulous bloggy friends CityMama, and The Silent I  (and many other fabulous women) write fabulous posts.

3.  I just stumbled upon this mommy-blogger, A Mother in Israel.  I am taking a trip to Tel Aviv in September and I already feel like I know Israel from reading her posts.   What I love the most is that even though we live half the world apart, we've got a lot in common.  Teaching tradition and customs, intense love for our children, and the ability to constantly make fun of ourselves (and others around us). 

4. This woman's journey to financial freedom reminds me so much of my own.  Financial Confessions of a College Graduate is a liberating blog about a woman living in Japan and trying to break the cycle of over-spending.  I've been there, done that.  I won't say how much debt I was in after graduating college and landing my first real job - but it took yearS to become debt free and learn from some pretty big mistakes.   I'm still working on the bringing my lunch to work instead of paying $15 a day to eat out.  But hey, at least I budget for it, right?

5. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a serious coffee habit.  I don't need the fancy stuff - I'll take the motor-oil like coffee that gets served in Denny's across America.  Starbucks isn't for me.  Just give me coffee with a little creamer and I'm a happy girl.  So to read from Jurgen Nation, a self proclaimed a non-coffee drinker get turned into a coffee junkie (or at least tolerator), I have to say "Welcome to the Club!"

Check out my latest post on Silicon Valley Mom's Blog

Please give me a little link love over to the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog and read my latest post about my worst nightmare - losing my three year old son.

I reached for my phone and did something I never thought I would ever have to do.  I called 911 to report a missing child.  My missing child.  The worst experience of my life was giving his description to the 911 Operator.  “He is 38 inches tall, weighs 33 lbs, with brown hair and brown eyes.  He is wearing a white shirt that says ‘If you think I’m cute, you should see my mom’ and blue pants with light blue stripes running down each pant leg.  He has new white shoes with blue trim.”

The second goal parent

My 3 yr old son starts Soccer on Saturday.  It’s a program through the YMCA that focuses on making sports fun and not so much on making the next Pele or Beckham.  I searched high and low for a program for three year olds, and was surprised to find so few.  I’m not very sports oriented myself (I tried every sport growing up, but none seemed to stick); however, I know the importance of sports for boys' physical and emotional development. 

As a part of its youth sports program, the Y asks that at least one parent attend a two-hour workshop put on by the Positive Coaching Alliance.  I was more than hesitant to give up two hours on a Saturday morning to sit in a smelly gym with bad acoustics, but I bit the bullet figuring that if I couldn’t even handle being a Soccer Mom before the season started, then I was in for real trouble later.  And boy, was I glad that I went.  Personally, I think that every parent who has a kid in sports should attend this workshop and learn how to become a Second Goal Parent.

Second-goal parents let the players and coaches focus on the first goal: winning.  Parents focus on the secondary “goal” of sports...

... teaching life lessons that are learned through sports. 

They give support independent of performance and model sportsman-like behavior where hard work pays off.  Sounds easy enough, doesn’t it? 

So then why do 75% of kids drop out of sports before they hit age 13?  Pressure from parents and coaches is the number 1 reason. Being a competitive person myself, I wonder how I will manage to not get worked up.  I think it’s probably a whole lot easier to be a Second-Goal Parent when you’re kid is three and you can be delighted when he kicks the ball in the right direction.  I imagine that it only gets harder as the kids get older.

So I’m taking it as a challenge to practice Second-Goal Parenting now, while D runs in the wrong direction, daydreams off in the soccer field, and thinks sports is really about getting a juice box and snack.  That way, if he should ever choose to chase the sports dream more seriously, you won’t see me yelling anything but “Go Team!” from the sidelines. 

... teaching life lessons that are learned through sports. 

They give support independent of performance and model sportsman-like behavior where hard work pays off.  Sounds easy enough, doesn’t it? 

So then why do 75% of kids drop out of sports before they hit age 13?  Pressure from parents and coaches is the number 1 reason. Being a competitive person myself, I wonder how I will manage to not get worked up.  I think it’s probably a whole lot easier to be a Second-Goal Parent when you’re kid is three and you can be delighted when he kicks the ball in the right direction.  I imagine that it only gets harder as the kids get older.

So I’m taking it as a challenge to practice Second-Goal Parenting now, while D runs in the wrong direction, daydreams off in the soccer field, and thinks sports is really about getting a juice box and snack.  That way, if he should ever choose to chase the sports dream more seriously, you won’t see me yelling anything but “Go Team!” from the sidelines. 

Lucky me, lucky D, lucky You

On Saturday, my dad found a MP3 player in the parking lot at the local mall.  It was right next to his car tire.  The space next to his was empty, so he thought that perhaps it fell out of the pocket of a teen passenger or something.  The MP3 player was still in working condition (with the foulest rap music I think I have ever heard) so he reformatted it and downloaded about 80 songs from his iPod playlist and then gave yours truly the MP3 player.  I'm listening to Men at Work "Who can it be now?" while typing this.  Lucky me.

Then on Sunday, my dad found another MP3 player in the parking lot at Target!  Again, no one in sight.  So this time he borrowed Darius's children's CDs and formatted the MP3 player for Darius.  My three year old is pimping with his own playlist.  He'll even share one earphone with you.  Lucky you.

Photohunt: Happy

Last Friday, Darius and I took the trek to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom in Vallejo, CA (about 80 minutes from our home).  They have a new Thomas Town.  And Darius was thrilled to not only see Thomas the Tank Engine, but to get to ride him as well.  Needless to say, he was one happy boy.

What? I'm supposed to actually be working at work?

I'm having one major procrastination week.  I have a laundry list of things to get completed this week and I've knocked off maybe two items.  I have an international trip to plan, 42 flagged items in my inbox that require some action on my part, 636 emails that need to be archived, an office that needs to be packed by 5pm tonight for the move to the new work campus tomorrow.  All while being in meetings for 4 of my "8" hours at work. 

Instead, I've spent the last two hours reading blogs, creating a new Scrapblog (will be revealed soon!), ordering wedding presents for the thirty million weddings we seem to be invited to in the next 60 days, and checking out the new Victoria's Secret full coverage lifting bra. 

I think I need to kick my own butt.  Oh look, something shiny....

Hurricane Girly-Girl

Mr. VicePresident brought his kids to work yesterday.  No, it wasn’t Bring Your Daughter To Work Day.  Well, I suppose it was for him.  But the rest of us didn’t get the memo.  And had we, then we all would have stayed far far away from the office today. 

I’m not automatically opposed to bringing your child to work.  I’ve done it.  I reserve it for the most necessary times where I absolutely cannot find a sitter (and when you have 3 retired parents like we do, it’s pretty rare that someone can’t watch).  And I bring a shit-load of activities – including the controversial portable DVD player – to keep my adorably typically loud 3 year old occupied so that I (and more importantly, the people around me) can continue to work.   But I’m lucky.  Darius is perfectly content to pass out Dentine Ice to my co-workers (who doesn’t love gum) and draw for hours on my white board. 

My little guy also gets the serious mommy-talk before we head in the door.  We talk about using our inside voices and how this is a special treat and if anyone comes over to tell me he is being too loud that he will hung from his toenails.  I’m serious.  The kid is on his best behavior because he knows anything else is just.not.acceptable. 

Yeah, well Mr. VicePresident forgot to have that talk with his kids.  He arrogantly walked in with three beautiful little girls.  All under the age of 4.  At first, I was totally impressed.  He was going to be Mr. Mom and Mr. VicePresident at the same time.  I figured since he commands all of us, his kids would be in tip top shape.  Naw.  His kids are cute.  Cute little devils.  Because his children are a train wreck.  Or a tornado.  Honestly, they are a train wreck during a tornado. Whoa. 

For the entire morning, his three girls ran rampant through the building.  They were loud in that girly shrill American Idol concert kind of way.  They were distracting.  They were disobedient.  And every single employee rolled their eyes and looked as if there was a migraine on the horizon.  But no one said a word.  No one complained (to the boss).  Not a single person.

Whenever the girls would run into their daddy’s office, I would quickly go shut the door after them.  I don’t think their dad got it.  Because inevitably the door would open and then chaos would ensue.  A lunch, their mom came as a reinforcement and the girls were better.  Still loud, but now only walking instead of running.  When they left for lunch as a family, the entire office sighed in relief. 

I realize that people may not be comfortable confronting the VP, but come on.  Dozens of people where affected by Hurrican Girly-girls.  I want to know if you've ever had a similar experience.  Did the boss ever bring in his/her kids?  Were they good?  If not, did you (or anyone else) say anything? 

The winner of the big swag contest is....

Jessica from A Wealth of Knowledge.   Congrats to Jess and her new swag bag valued over $150!

How did she win?  Randomly of course.  And it only took about an hour.

First, I thought it would be cute to have Darius pick a name of out a hat and then video tape it or something that shows what a fun, cool mom I am.  But all I have on video is me demanding him to pick a name out of a hat and he throwing all the names out because I had the audacity to use his baseball hat.  I know.  No mother of the year award for me (and no I will not  being airing the vid either, some things are better left alone). 

Then I remembered that Plain Jane Mom had posted once about deciding random winners.  So I hopped over to her site and found her reference to Random.org.  It was easy.  Beyond easy.  Why I ever wanted to solicit the help of a three year old when this site exists?  I'll chalk it up to deciding to pick a winner at 6am with no coffee. 

Photohunt: Two

For this week's photohunt, I present you with two photos of Darius at his 2nd Birthday party.

Darius and his daddy as we sing Happy Birthday.

Homemade cake.  No I didn't make it.  I had the vision and then had my dad, Mr. Martha Stewart, bake and decorate.  I'm a firm believer in outsourcing.

Speaking of presents, have you checked out my contest?  Enter by 11:59pm PDT tonight for a chance to win free BlogHer swag.   

Where the working momma magic is made

When I was a working girl and not yet a working mom, I was rather fanatical about keeping my work space clean and clear.  Everynight, I would neatly stack my project folders into an organizer, make a to-do list in Outlook for tasks that I wasn't able to accomplish.  In other words, I was totally on my A-game. 

Or totally OCD.

Now that I'm a mom, I'm either rushing into to work minutes before my first meeting or rushing from work minutes before the daycare closes.  I don't have time to fuss over project folders, being organized, or cleaning up my space.   

And if you are curious about my file organizer.  I still have it.  See?

This confession is brought to you by Self Made Mom.  She's shown her's, now you need to show yours.

Swag Contest - don't forget to comment!

My Swag-travaganza contest is still open.  All you have to do is comment in the Swag-travaganza post by Friday, August 17th.  Check it out to win free swag from BlogHer07.

Out of character

I'm sitting in a very serious meeting about our acquisition.  Very serious.

When a VP starts sharing his presentation, I noticed something strange. 

Mickey Mouse as a cursor.  For a senior VP.  Really?  Seems a bit out of character for a man in a suit.

hmmm, maybe this company isn't serious as I thought.

Betcha if the VP was a woman, she'd be ridiculed. 

Scratch that, no woman would be so tacky as to have Mickey Mouse as her work cursor.  We don't have time for that crap. 

Photo Journal: Day at Webb Ranch

Photohunt: Row

For this weeks challenge, I decided to air my laundry.  Literally.  Hey!  At least is is clean laundry.  Two months ago, we bought laundry racks to line dry all of our clothes.  We purchased 4 and they each hold about a load of laundry.  See my row of laundry...

Yes it is in the house  (our un-lanscaped back yard is too dusty).  If you casually came over just about any day of the week, you'll see our clean laundry.  Yes, I make sure that they are put away when we know we are going to have guests.

The best part is, each month, our energy bill has dropped to pay for 1 rack.  In two more months, the racks will be paid off.  We are not only reducing our carbon footprint but we are also saving signficant $$ in our energy costs.

Go buy some yourself - and stop trying to look for my underwear in that pic.

Now if only I could find an energy reducing measure that will fold and put away the clothes.

Lord of the Flies redo

After a late afternoon birthday party in Santa Clara, I decided to swing by Valley Faire Mall to re-stock on my Philosophy skin care line at Sephora. Yes, I said swing by.  With a 3 year old boy that had pent-up energy after being at a “gurrl bird-day party.”  The girls couldn’t handle him, so we left early.  One the way home and to the park, it struck my fancy to run into Valley Faire for a little errand. 

Why is it that when you have a good kid, you get all expectant that they will be good all the time?  Even when that means doing something totally boring – like run an errand with mom.  Not my brightest moment.  I’ll blame it on the euphoria from eating really tasty chocolate cake. 

As we got lost in Valley Faire (when the hell did it require its own zip code?  That place is HUGE), we found a little island.  An island filled with barefoot, wild children.  Before I could turn us around (seriously, where was Sephora??), D had jumped ship and was swimming to join this crazy clan of kids. 

The children were seriously wild.  Feral versions of what I’m sure are well-behaved children any other time.  They were climbing as high as they could, jumping anywhere without any regard for who may be underfoot, running with abandon.  I kept looking for the leader with the conch shell, but alas I never found that kid.  Maybe we were past that point and nearing total and utter chaos. 

At first, I would shout (it was LOUD with all that screaming) at D to share with another kid or to watch out for the smaller kids.  But then I looked around and noticed that most parents – sitting on the sidelines and out of harm’s way – were totally not paying attention to their kids.  They were relaxing, enjoying a Starbucks, having an adult conversation.  Being a kiddie-island virgin, I wasn’t comfortable with going that extreme.  So I sat on my hands and bit my tongue and just watched.

I saw my well-mannered little boy taking turns on the slide, making friends on the cars, and keeping mindful of the littlier kids.  Yes, he was screaming and making barfing noises with the other boys.  But he was also kind, playful, and having a blast.

We stayed for over an hour. I eventually did make it over to Sephora for my purchases.  And with D totally wiped out, it made that trip into the store a breeze.   I’d say this ending is far better than the original book, hands down.

Cross-posted at the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog

Swag-travaganza!

If you didn't make it to BlogHer - or you just can't get enough of the swag - this contest is for you.

I'm living under piles of swag and have decided to share it with the blogosphere.  Here's what you get:

• Jar of Jif peanut butter
• Reliadose medicine dispensing unit
• Living the Dream t-shirt
• oops apron
• Busy Body Book
• Revolution Health sweat towel
• Bliss spa mini-products from the W (taken from my very own room)
• Packin Smart Formula Dispenser and Snack Case
• 75 minutes from tutor.com
• Wati dress
• and the infamous Butterball pot holder

All will be in my very own swag bag given out during the SV Mom's cocktail party at BlogHer.  As an added plus, it still has my name tag on it (I'm not famous now, but I will be one day).  Total package is worth over $150!

The rules? Easy as pie. All you have to do is comment on this post by Friday, August 17, 2007 (don't forget you need a valid email adress).  One comment per person, please! I'll only ship in the continental US, so if you live outside of that, well then, no swag for you. Winner will randomly be chosen and announced on Monday, August 20.

On promoting breastfeeding

There's been controversy swarming over the new government program in NYC that is promoting breastfeeding by eliminating the formula swag bag you get in the hospital. I'm not even going to discuss the marketing ploy by the formula companies that so many people seem to be rallying behind as the reason.  Let's focus on actually promoting breastfeeding.  'Cause really - we all know when we are getting free stuff in hopes for brand loyalty down the road.  We all get that.

So let's talk about how we can really promote breastfeeding.  If the breast is truly best, then...

Why don't we have a PAID maternity leave in the good ole USofA?  I think that would be a great place to start.  Covering my job for 12 weeks of unpaid leave under FMLA - with easy loop holes for your employer to still can you - doesn't cut the mustard.  In California, mothers are covered for up to 4 week prior and up to 8 week post child birth under state disability.  But not all mothers qualify.  In 2004, California also launched the Paid Family Leave Act which gives another 6 weeks of disability for mothers (and fathers) but does not provide any job protection.  I have yet to meet a dad that participated because of it.

Why are lactation consultants not covered in insurance?  I never saw a lactation consultant.  The $70/hr fee was too much for me.  Thankfully, my mom (a public health nurse) stepped in and helped me every step of the way.  But if you want to promote breastfeeding, then you need to promote supporting mothers while they figure it out.  And having us shell out that kinda dough, well, that's pretty dumb.

Where is the support for working mothers?  In California, employers have to provide lactation rooms to their working mothers.  Most states don't have this policy.  But providing the room is really a joke if you work at a company that doesn't support families.  Breastfeeding and working are not an easy combination.  I was a perfect BF'ing mother until I returned to work.  And my expensive $300 pump didn't make things easier.  I had no support from my employer to breastfeed.  Four months after returning to work, I did not have a large enough milk supply to exclusively breastfeed and my child was not solely on solid foods.  The only choice was to supplent with formula. 

Where's the breastfeeding swag?  If you aren't gonna cover formula supplies, at least arm every woman with a nipple shield, ice packs, and some nursing pads.  Come on, breastfeeding supplies aren't cheap.  Oh, and it you throw in that $300 Pump In Style, I'm sure more moms would be really to give it a try.  Seriously folks.  If you think that giving formula is gonna sway women to supplement with it, why aren't we giving away stuff that makes breastfeeding easier?  Or at least more fun.

Shame on you, Silicon Valley

When the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog posted about an NY Times article about Millionaires in Silicon Valley not feeling RICH enough, I rolled my eyes.  Here we go again with "the everyone here is a millionaire and we are all chasing the dream to win it big with the next IPO."  Nothing could be farther from the truth.

First off, most of the people that I know here are not in the Mil+ category.  We work hard for the companies that employ us.  We don't compare ourselves to our neighbors.  We don't own private jets and we don't belong to the country club.  We don't shop at the Louis Vuitton shop at Stanford Mall (although we may longing gaze at those gorgeous bags).  We are just middle class folks, living middle class lives. 

So when I read this article about Hal Steger, Tony Barbagallo, Umberto Milleti, Gary Kremen, David Koblas, and Celest Baranski,.... I feel like I need to find these folk in real life and bitch slap them.  Seriously.  You have millionS of dollars socked away and you are complaining?  Seriously?  Poor, poor you.  Did you think that somehow you were blowing the roof off a secret in SV?  Because all I see is you blowing smoke up your own ass.

The values here in Silicon Valley are so messed up.  I feel sick to read about people who have more money than many dream about earning in their entire lifetime are complaining because there is someone more wealthy than them.  WTF?  There is always going to be someone who is smarter, faster, richer, prettier, skinnier than you.  That's no reason to continue to live the way you do, work the way you do and then think you have the right to complain about it.  Don't lie about your greedy, selfish reasons.

I am so proud that none of my colleagues were featured in the article.  If they were, I'd be re-thinking working for or with those individuals. 

Photohunt: Funky

w

Yes, that is my son attempting to touch a goat's you know what.  Darius is 15 months old in this picture.  We were at Lemos Farm in Half Moon Bay.  Needless to say, it was a funky day.

Don't tell me "Don't sweat the small stuff"

If I have only learned one thing through all my years hanging on the corporate ladder, then it would be that it is all about the small stuff.

Being acquired by a Fortune 15 company means only one thing:  change.  And lots of it.  We have new systems.  New processes.  New ways of doing business.  In a week's time we'll also have new offices, a new commute, a new cafeteria.  Everything that we do as a business unit will have completely changed before the summer is over.  Everything will be different.  The good, the bad, the ugly. 

And let me tell you, there is a lot of ugly.

But what kills me.  What really, really kills me is not the change.  It's the whining.  The whiny people that cannot focus on the big picture.  And instead focus on the small stuff.  The inconsequential stuff. The stuff that, at the end of the day, doesn't matter one little bit.

"What? I won't get free bottles of water anymore?"

"What? I have to bring my own Ibprofen instead of stealing it from the first aide kit?"

"What? My spouse can't go to the company gym for free?"

I'm waving my magic wand over all the whiners.  Ok, people.  I get it.  Your fears about the upcoming changes are manifesting into the mundane issues.  But come on, enough is enough.  I'm not gonna tell y'all to not sweat the small stuff.  Just don't talk about it. 

Some of us are actually trying to work.

Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

After the entertaining BlogHer session with Amy Sedaris, I picked up a fabulous magic wand designed by Amy. 

It was only 3 bucks and Amy signed it.  Totally worth it.

Today, I brought it with me to work after smuggling it from home so that my very curious toddler wouldn't see it and break it within 30 seconds of touching it.  I swiped it over my computer and said a little spell. 

"Please oh please let me get outta here on time today.  I've got to pick up my kid by 5:45 or else I will have to deal with spawn of the devil (aka the preschool director and her $15 per minute fine for being late)."

I also plan on using it to cast spells on the Stoopid People Who Ask Stoopid Questions. 

And I'll bring it back home later.  Amy swears that if you wave it over your oven, a turkey will magically appear.  Honey, I don't need a turkey.  I'll settle for a cheese quesadilla and a beer.