Homesick

Waking up today in Windsor, UK was the first day of my almost two week business trip that I felt lonely.  It took me exactly five days to feel homesick.  Which, in many ways, made perfect sense.  Most of my trips are only 3-4 days long.  Usually, I’d be home by now.  Kissing my boys (that would be the son I bore and the man I married).  I’d be unpacking and making a very long grocery list.  But this time, I awoke in the UK.  The rest of my team is on their way back to their families.  I have another week before I see mine.

It was bittersweet having a day all to me.  Our meeting ended yesterday and I don’t fly to my next destination until tomorrow.  I slept in as much as the jet-lag would let me and then went on my merry way.  Alone.  It wasn’t until noon that I realized I hadn’t uttered a word.  I had no one to speak to.  I walked where I wanted, stopped in stores that stuck my fancy.  I didn’t have to worry about what my toddler would eat for lunch or where was the closest bathroom.  It was nice to only have to think about taking care of one person.  Me.

But when I saw the children leaving the French school, hand in hand with their mothers, my heart ached for my boy.  Seeing the little girl toddling away from her mother in the King’s Chamber at Windsor Castle reminded me of the spirited independence of my D.  I actually stepped into McDonalds; not for a Big Mac, but to watch the delighted kids who would get free balloon with their happy meal.

As dinner approached, I headed into a local pub for a beer and fish & chips - quintessential English food.  Sitting at a table for one, having only said words to the waitress to order and having spent the majority of my day in silence, I was at peace.  Yes, I was homesick.  Yes, I can't wait to see my child or watch with delight has he opens his presents from my travels.  I know that when I return the solitude that I will have experienced will vanquish at the site of my child.  So I will learn to love the silence before life get loud once more.

Cross-posted at the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog

Comments

[Selfmademom]

:( I'm sad for you. But I guess you're right- enjoy it before you're back to reality... but I hear ya- reality is fun. good luck