Last week, a writer for The Juggle wrote about her recent experience in working from home without childcare.
For the first three years of returning to work, I demanded that I work from home at least one day a week. Friday was the planned day. The entire office knew that I would be working from home and so the volume of issues that I dealt with turned to Monday through Thursday. Friday became my light day. I'd have one or two conference calls that I could strategically place during Sesame Street hour or nap time. I purposely made my workload more administrative for Fridays. Status reports on projects, submitting expense reports for reimbursement, catching up on the insane amount of email that I received the rest of the week, sending out meeting requests to the team for the following week. If I didn't get to it on Friday, I could put in a couple hours of work on Sunday night.
I also learned that TV really isn't the best babysitter. Sure, Darius religiously watched Sesame Street for the full hour on Friday mornings. And on hairy days where an emergency did come up, he'd get lucky and get a 30 minute show in the afternoon. But the bulk of the day was fairly balanced between working remotely, spending quality time with Darius, and encouraging Darius to play on his own. Mind you, I only have one kiddo to contend with so the journey to "working from home bliss" was probably a million times easier for mom's with 2 or more.
What I learned from those three years:
Carve out time on your calendar for spending 1:1 time with your child. Afterall, you are working from home for a reason. And that reason probably includes getting to be around your children. So actually block out the time. Darius and I enrolled in a Music Together class on Friday mornings. It took a hour out of my work day and it was totally worth it to do something special with my son. By marking it on my calendar, the time was less likely to get hijacked by a meeting or other work activity.
If you want dinner on the table, use a crock pot. Nothing like throwing a few ingredients into a crock pot at 8am and having dinner ready at 5. I pulled out the crockpot almost every Friday. I'd make chili, roasts, pull pork for sandwiches, curry chicken, soups, stews, you name it. It takes the pressure off of feeling like you've spent the whole day at home and having nothing to show for it.
Plan your work ahead. My saving grace was that everyone knew I was working from home. It helped to keep the workload manageable. At work, I always kept one eye focused on the horizon. A two to four week forecast to make sure that project deadlines and schedules were not going to impact my Friday with Darius. Sometimes it did. But having the unexpected crisis became rare. In addition, I think I became a better Project Manager by keeping one focus on what happening today and the other on what was coming down the pipe.
Encourage your child to play on their own. You may have to work up to this slowly, but if you are working from home it's a must. I'll admit that I had to let go of my own anxiety about not watching him for every single minute. But I set up shop in our playroom. Darius could play with trains, the little kitchen set, have wrestling matches with his stuffed animals. All on his own. I was there, but kept a distance. I started working in 15 minute chunks. 15 min with Darius playing on his own, 15 min with me playing with him. Every week, I extended his free play by 5 minutes. 20 minutes, then 25, then 30. I kept my 15 minutes of quality play time the same.
Don't fall into the trap of doing it all. You cannot work, be with your kids, and do everything else. Dishes won't get done. Laundry will stay unsorted. And that's ok. Your priority on those days is literally be a working momma. That's what you are balancing. Not trying to fit everything into the day's schedule.
And finally, fake it. No one in the office needs to know that you are wearing sweats with smooshed bananas on them. Don't make any excuses for working from home. You are just as professional and fabulous as you are when you are in the office.
Oh, and don't forget to use the mute button when ever you're on a call.
