Last night, I not only got to hang out with the fabulous writers of the Silicon Valley Mom’s Blog and eat ice cream. I also had the great opportunity to meet and speak with Maria Shriver.
The night was a blur. A whirlwind, really. But a quiet one. Maria is not a storm. Her energy didn’t overpower the rest of us. For a moment it was as if we were all just old friends sharing a bowl of ice cream and gabbing about our ambitious husbands.
She was totally honest about what it is like growing up in the Kennedy clan where nearly all of her role models were either in office or running for office. The amount of pressure to be successful was more than intense. I couldn’t imagine growing up in a family where your father founded the Peace Corps and your mother founded the Special Olympics. How could you ever do something grand enough to top that? I loved when she said the gift to her children is the message that “you are enough. That they don’t have to do something for me to love them.”
One of the last questions asked of Maria was about how she juggled her high profile job with her family. Being a working mother, I was so curious to hear her response. She spoke of how at first she thought she could juggle it all. After four months of bringing her baby with her around the country and world, she had enough and tried to quit. NBC moved her out of the primetime news and into special projects. With each child, her job responsibilities decreased by choice.
Her response felt so real to me. I often wonder if we ever decide to have more kids how I will juggle working full-time with being a full-time mom. It seems like the only way to do that is to give up being my full-time self. How can I possible put myself above work and family? I’ve been fantasizing about getting laid-off and starting out for myself. Becoming an independent contractor. Setting my own hours. Billing my own clients. Having my own business cards that don’t reference a position at a multi-billion dollar company.
Honestly I’ve been too afraid to make the jump. Fear of not making enough money to support my family. Fear of not having enough connections to find work. Fear that I’m really not as good as I thought I was. Fear of failure. It’s been holding me back. The fear of not succeeding on my own keeps me in a safe place. I know I am a successful employee. But can I make it as a successful business?
Maria went on to say “I shouldn’t have tried to shove it all together. I didn’t have the courage to say that I wasn’t going to work at all.” And that’s when I knew that I need to be courageous. We can’t afford for me to not work at all – we’ve done the math, it’s not possible. But we can afford for me to find a way to go into business for myself. To finally be THE boss of my own life and career. Will I quit my job tomorrow and dive deep into consulting? Probably not. But I’m feeling a whole lot braver about taking that leap.
I don’t need to be the cowardly lion. I am working on finding the courage to make the leap of faith.
You can read more about what Maria Shriver said during our Mom's Night Out at Silicon Valley Mom's Blog. A review of her new book, Just Who Will You Be?, is over at my very neglected review blog.
