Who's The Boss?

Me gusto chocolat

This is a traditional chocolate in Barcelona. It's melted chocolate in a cup with whipped cream on top. Remember the scene at the end of in the movie "Chocolat" where she serves hot chocolate that looks ooey, gooey delicious to Johnny Depp? It's just like that. Only this time, I got to enjoy it. It was so decadent, I didn't even get through half of the cup.
It filled me up for the rest of day - we skipped dinner to enjoy the treat.

Sending this from email since for whatever reason, I cannot get typepad to work on this computer in Spain. Crossing my fingers as I hit the send button.

The Best Week Ever

• It's been a fun week with all these giveaways and contests and people saying "pick me, pick me."  I totally need to have giveaways more often.  Don't forget to comment on my grand finale contest (a chance to win an HP Photosmart compact printer) by tomorrow.

• While you were over here trying to win books and boxes of chocolate, Silicon Valley Mom's Blog (and all the sister sites) were talking about *gasp* sex.  Yes, mothers talking about sex.  I still get the creeps whenever my mom mentions the word (she's a mom, grr-ross), so I found the whole experience a little weird.  Please go check out my post about how Elmo got My Groove Back.   

• Remember the headshots I was so frantic about for the new top secret writing project?  Finally, it can be revealed.  I am co-authoring a new blog on Work It, Mom!  Full Time, All the Time is a blog all about being a full time working mom (duh).   My co-anchor is the fabulous Karen from Chookooloonks (I'm only a teensy bit intimidated).  Please check out my first post on Taking Back my Lunch Break.

• Next week, I'll be writing live  from Spain and Portugal.  Two girlfriends, no kids, no spouses, no regrets.  Ten lovely days away from my real life.  I even borrowed my dad's super fancy Digital SLR (I think that's what it's called) to take great pictures of our adventure.  It's my last hoo-rah before my 30th birthday. 

Giveaway: HP Photosmart Printer

One very lucky reader will win this very cool HP Photosmart A626 printer (a value of $150)

Put one-touch printing at your fingertips with the HP Photosmart A626 Compact Photo Printer.   It sports a 4.8" color touch screen that you can use with a stylus or on-screen keyboard for editing photos.

Plus you can:

• Make photos "scrapbook-ready" and design unique greeting cards using more than 200 borders, graphics, frames, and effects
• Do slide shows on the screen and print individual shots by simply touching them
• Print directly from a memory card, PictBridge-enabled camera, or PC
• Print wirelessly from Bluetooth-enabled devices
• Remove red eye, slim subjects, and enhance images, all without a computer
  

As my grand finale of a week of giveaways celebrating my 1 year anniversary of the blog, this contest will remain open for the entire weekend.  The same rules apply.  Just leave a comment by 11:59pm on Sunday, May 25th.

Giveaway: See's Candies

See's is my favorite chocolate.  A California company that is so deliciously scrumptious.  Growing up, my dad would get us a little box of chocolates for every special occassion.  It's a family tradition.  So to mark the anniversary of the blog, I'm giving two lucky readers a box of chocolates.

I have two gift certificates for a 1lb box of chocolate.  You can order online whatever type you want.   Or if you live in California, you can go directly to one of their shops to redeem your prize. 

My favorites are Raspberry Cream in Dark Chocolate - it's heaven in a single bite.  For a great variety, you can get one of their pre-packaged boxes.  Our fave is Nuts and Chews.

Read the rules and then comment on this post.

Giveaway: "Parenting, Inc." by Pamela Paul

Pamela Paul has generously donated a signed hard cover copy of her new book, Parenting, Inc. 

I absolutely loved this book and had the opportunity to interview Pamela, a fellow working mom, about the book.  This book is a must read for all parents.  Seriously. 

To enter this giveaway, go read the rules and then leave a comment on this post. 

Giveaway: Brother's All Natural Fruit & Potato Crisps

I love, love, love these snacks by Brother's All Natural.  I buy them in bulk and keep them in the back of the car for an anytime snack. 

If you haven't tried them before, now is your chance!  Two lucky readers will win four real-size, individual serving bags of their fruit crisps and new potato crisps.  I took one bite of the potato crisps and immediately hid the other sample from my family.  They are so frickin' tasty - kicks the ass of Lays baked chips.  And with only 45 calories and zero fat per individual serving bag, you will never feel guilty about eating chips.   Seriously, I think air has more calories than their snack bags.

To win, simply read the rules and then comment on this post.  And you too can love snacks that are packed with flavor and never feel bad about eating the whole bag again.

Giveaway: "Just Who Will You Be?" by Maria Shriver

When I met Maria Shriver in April, I made sure to sneak in an extra copy of her book for the signing.   She signed this copy for one lucky Who's the Boss Reader. 

This is a fun little book that may just change your attitude to help you change your life.  I gave copies to my mom and Grandma too.   Maria Shriver was an inspiration to meet.  And I think you'll love this book as much as I did. 

To enter, read the rules, and the leave a comment on this post. 

Countdown to my Blog-iversary with a week of Giveaways!

I can't believe that a year has nearly gone by since I started this little blog.   Last month, I thanked all my readers with a little Abba.  I mean, there really isn't any better way to express gratitude than with disco songs. 

To show you how much I truly madly deeply love you, Who's the Boss Blog will be having a giveaway a day this week.  Come back each day and comment on the giveaway post.  I have signed books by notable authors, a tasty new snack for the fam, gift certificates, and a very exciting grand finale. 

The rules are the same as they always are:

1. One entry per person

2. Residents of the US only

3. Leave your valid email address or you lose (how else will I contact you if you win!)

4. Winners will be chosen at random

5. All winners will be announced on Tuesday, June 3rd.  I realize that this is a delay, but well if you want it, you can wait. 

Outcast

Yesterday, I went to meet up with some of my former lunch-club members.  We always go to the same place - a Dim Sum restaurant in Cupertino that knows what we like, always remembers to bring the special chili sauce with seeds, and makes the yummiest Shrimp with Cilantro dumplings.

We were catching up on life.  They all still work at the company.  So far, I am the only one to defect.  I miss the people a lot.  Well some of them.  Some of them I haven't thought about since the moment I walked through the double doors for the last time in January.  But the ones at the lunch club meet-up were all my closest work buddies.  And I miss them.  I do not miss the work.  But when you work on the best team in the world for so many years, are bonded by the worst boss in the history of all bosses (one day, I will post about his shenanigans), and they all share your love for sushi and dim sum.  Well, it's hard to say good-bye.

As we were filling our bellies with steamed dumplings, one of the them asked another about a meeting with a certain customer.  Forgetting that I am no longer on the team or with the company for that matter, they started talking about an issue the customer was facing.  No joke, about 15 seconds into it, one of them looked over at me and fumbled.  He quickly (and politely)  said that they would talk about it later.  Later being code word for "we have a traitor in our midst."

I totally understood why the subject wasn't appropriate with me there.  After all, I technically work for a competitor who is also a partner (yes, that is how corporations work).  But the quick change in subject didn't bother me.  It certainly didnt hurt my feelings.  After 7 years of dealing with all those issues that they are still dealing with at the company, it's is no longer my problem. 

Five months ago that conversation of talking about work over lunch would have ruined my lunch hour.  But yesterday, it made my day. 

Q&A with Pamela Paul

I had the great opportunity to interview author and fellow working mom, Pamela Paul, about her new book Parenting, Inc.  The book is an examination of the pressures that distort good sense and lead normally sane and smart people to reach into their pocketbooks to puchase all sorts of products and services related to parenting, babies, and "educational" entertainment.  It is a must read for all parents. I personally believe the book should be standard issued at maternity wards all around Silicon Valley  where we seem to be teaching our children only lessons in lavish consumerism and entitlement.  Below is a lightly edited version of my conversation with Ms Paul.

What made you decide to research and write about the “Parenting Industry?”

It’s very personal to me.  I actually had my second baby in the middle of working on this book.  Like so many parents, I felt like I was being indoctrinated into a cult when I went into my first baby store as a pregnant person and was overwhelmed by just how much stuff there is.  I felt like parents aren’t aware of the blatant marketing strategies and how parents are suckered into to a lot of things.  Is it even possible for a toy to make a child smarter? Raising kids is such a fortune.  Why are we making this more difficult for ourselves?

Some of the entrepreneurs and marketing agencies were very honest about their tactics and intentions.  Have you experienced any backlash from those that contributed to the research?
[Laughs]  Not Yet!  It could happen.   

A lot of writing for moms can be very condescending, like we don’t have brains of our own.  I just felt like I’m just going to tell [moms] what these people said and they can see for themselves.  I put forth what they were telling me. And it’s pretty damning a lot of times.   They out right say “Yeah, we’re working off parent’s guilt.  We can’t really say that but that’s what we are doing.”

I’ve been on a mission to change our spending habits.  The book was very validating. Did researching and writing the book change your spending habits as a mother?
More than anything, the research that was eye opening to me what the environmental information and becoming more conscientious of the amount of waste I was generating and also the chemicals contained in so much baby gear. Temperamentally I am not a shopper.  But like so many others, it is so much easier to get suckered into to things for the kids.  It’s easier to rationalize “Oh its not for me, it’s not for my baby.”  I did cut back a lot.

Do you have any advice for parents that read the book and realized that you’ve just described them? How they can break that cycle?

I think it’s about becoming better informed.  One thing I would suggest parents do before they buy something is to question their motivations.  Why I am buying this?  Am I getting this to minimize frustration?  To make my child happier?  To make them smarter?  As parents I think we focus on where children are going rather than they are in any given moment.  I don’t think that does anybody any good.

I call it the “anxiety of under-spending.” You think that if you don’t get this stuff, then your child isn’t going to be as successful or happy or well adjusted and it’s silly.  And so untrue.

Just Shoot Me

Which one is your favorite?

Headshots

I've been asked to provide a headshot for a new blog that I will be co-authoring on a fantastic site for working mommas (details will be forthcoming, I promise!).   Yes a headshot.  As in a shot of my head.  My big giant crazy hair, dimple cheeks, squinty eyes head.   Paging my self-confidence.  Self-confidence please come over to Robyn's ego.  We are waiting for you.

First, I sent over the photo on my about page.  But they don't want one with my kid in the pic.  Apparently headshot means "just your own head idiot."

So I went searching for photos of just me.

If I went back 7 years, I could pretend that I'm still blonde and have a tummy that hasn't held an 8.5 pound baby.  Who cares that I look nothing like that now.  It's all relative right?  (for the record, I'd never trade that highlighted hair and flat belly for Darius)

Nowadays, I look more like this.  Hair in curlers, running from one thing to the next.  But I doubt that these new readers want to see me in curlers.  Afterall, aren'ts headshots supposed to be glamorous?

So I found this one of when we went to an Indian event with Neville's family.  My hair is done, I have make-up on.  But my eyes are closed and there's that darn kid again.

Alright, must keep looking.  There has to be a nice photo of just me.  That looks like me.  This really can't be that hard.  It's a frickin' picture after all.

Oh, here's one.  I think it totally captures how I feel about this whole headshot business. 

What?  I think a little humor is required when one is asked to provide a shot of one's head. 

I did find this pretty one of my head. But it's from a wedding.  And as much as I love my friend, I don't think I need my headshot to be one in a bridesmaid's dress. Even if I only get to wear that dress once.  Some things are left better in the closet.  This photo can hang next to the dignity I threw in there when I started this post.

And so I conclude that I don't have a headshot.  Or one that is presentable for my new adventure.  I've called in reinforcements.  My dad is coming over tonight with his fancy camera and we'll be taking some photos. 

Tune in tomorrow to help me decide which one should become my official headshot. 

That is, if I don't actually shoot myself in the head first.  Shotgun, anyone?

Monday is my new friend

I'm feeling a bit hungover from all the "do I or don't I have a job" drama of last week.  Except with a typical hangover, at least you get a wild night before the punch in the gut.  Right now, I just feel a little battered and bruised. 

When I finally received the offer on Friday afternoon, I was so relieved that I ended up falling asleep right after dinner.  As in, seven o-clock in the evening.  I went to bed two hours before Darius hit the hay with me.  12 hours of sleep that night.  I can't remember the last time I slept that long.  Probably after an all night bender in college. 

It was a good thing I started Saturday morning refreshed.  With our weekend, I needed all the energy I could get. There was t-ball practice, a pony-ride birthday party, a touching wedding, contractors coming over to change the concrete jungle that is our backyard, a day trip to visit Nana, and even a little  Speed Racer movie action.  All in 36 hours. 

Perhaps that the reason I'm a little sluggish today. 

Our weekends are becoming more and more packed with more and more stuff.  This weekend we have more contractors coming (the first estimate was ridiculously high), a matinee for Beauty and the Beast musical, brunch with some girlfriends, and yet another birthday party.

My weekdays have become predictable.  I like predictable.  The weekends have become the deadline filled, action packed, stress inducing part of the week.  Who knew that the mere mention of Saturday could put me in a cold sweat.

I used to hate Mondays.  Lately, I've been looking forward to them.  I never thought I'd ever say that I like Monday.

Monday has become my new friend.  My new soft pillow to lay my weary weekend head on.  Monday is the new Friday. 

Happy Mother's Day

  "Mom I love you because you got me new animal shorts from Israel and when you tickle me, I laugh.  I like when you buy me fruitsnacks from the store." - Darius

TGIF

The good news... I received a permanent offer. This is wonderful even if it means no summer by the pool.

The bad news... My new title sucks, I don't know if my current manager will remain my manager, and I don't know what organization I'll be working in.

The ugly... If I don't accept the offer, it is as if I was voluntarily resigning (read: no severance package and no unemployment benefit)

But right now I am only focusing on the good news. God is good, so good to me.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Pop Quiz Answer

I went with option B.

Sitting at some posh bar near the Ferry building, catching up with my dear friend and drinking Pomtini's with high class vodka.

We're moving up to popping a bottle of Champy to celebrate. Haven't decided what we're celebrating.

Life is good right now

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Pop Quiz

When you are sitting around waiting for either a lay-off notice or a "transitional" offer, your boss is off meeting the big wigs at the new parent company, and the coffee at work is tastes burnt and yucky like your attitude, do you....

a. Pack up your desk back into your one-box - just in case?

b. Plan a fabulous Thursday night out with your gay BFF, Christian?

c. Pretend to look busy by walking around while playing BrickBreaker on your BlackBerry?

d. Do a little online window shopping?

The waiting game

Layoffs started this week at work.  Yesterday, one department I work with lost 14 people.  It's been really hard to focus on my project knowing that someone I talked to on Friday may not be here tomorrow.

I don't know what is happening to my job.  Apparently, I'll know one way or the other by Friday.  I'm fairly certain that I'll be getting a "transitional offer" which is fancy corporate talk to say that my offer will have both a start and an end date.  It's like being on a contract except I'll be an employee of the company instead of a consultant.  My tenure at this new company may be a mere 60-90 days until I finish a core integration project.

I know that I've joked about wanted to get a severance package and spend the my summer as a SAHM.  And, honestly, there is a part of me that still wants that to happen.  Deep down, I want a job.  In this economy, I don't really want to be worrying about being unemployed.  Yes, I'm still considering going into business for myself.  And I could use that money from the package and unemployment benefits to stay afloat while I figured all that out. 

However, with the economy in the shitter, I'm not sure that would be the wisest move for me or my family.  We are currently positioned to be able to ride out the stagflation of our nation's economy.  With two of us working, it makes everything easier.  While our mortgage and bills are paid, we also have the ability to continue to save for a rainy day AND still put aside some for Darius' college fund and our retirement.  I am fully aware that having the means to do so is becoming a luxury in this nation. 

And while the cost of milk is absolutely outrageous, I haven't had to make any changes to my spending habits to still afford it.  I like being comfortable.  I like knowing that every two weeks money is directly deposited into my 401K and my checking account.  I like being gainfully employed.  I like not having to worry about whether I can put gas in my car or have enough money to buy groceries that week.  I like that there is money in the bank and I'm not waiting for the next paycheck that is basically already spent.

All that talk of wanting to be a SAHM and go into business for myself and taking up my hobby of knitting.  Yeah. That was all talk.  There's a lot of goodness in having a high-paid high-tech corporate job. 

The reality is I am shit-scared of not having a job.  I am terrified that I won't be able to find a job.  I don't want to have to make tough choices like many families across America are making as I write.  I don't want to have to choose between paying my mortgage or paying for groceries.  I don't want to have to sit up late at night and stress over the bills that have not been paid.  I don't want to be in that place.  I don't want to struggle.  I don't want to have to ask for handouts. 

I want to continue living my life.  Without having to think that my life is spiraling out of control with our economy.

And so I wait.  Wait to find out what my fate will be at the new company.   Please say a little prayer for me that my head doesn't explode from the anticipation.

[Edited to add]  I'm really not trying to stress about it.  Really, I'm not.  I realize this post sounds like a major pity party waiting to happen.  And I know that in whatever happens, I will find a way to see the silver lining. 

Picnic

Darius took all of these photos! After weeding through the 25 he took of the grass and another 15 with his finger over the lens, I found quite a few treasures to create a Scrapblog.

Happy Anniversary

My darling and sometimes grumpy Neville,

Today marks the day that we first met.  We don't have a "real" anniversary as we aren't legally married.  But we've basically been inseparable since the day we met.  It's so strange to me that we have been together for eight years.  On one hand it feels like just yesterday that we fell in love.  On the other hand, I feel like I've aged 35 years since meeting you. 

Who knew that when our eyes locked at a fraternity party (well as much as my very intoxicated eyes could lock in on anything) that we would have become life mates?  I honestly never expected us to last longer than that one night.  After all, it was college.  We met at a frat party where girls were exposing their 19 year old boobies to horny boys.  I chalked up you offering to drive me home as your attempt to get in my pants (I was right about that, now wasn't I?). 

When we exchanged numbers at 5:00am in the morning, I never expected you to call.  I had been to other frat parties before.  I knew how this would play out.  And I wasn't going to sit around and wait for you to call - and then cry when you didn't.  So I threw your number away in the trash and went to the girl's water polo match.  When I returned to my apartment that evening, you had left a message on my voice-mail.  You wanted to see me again.  But you didn't leave your number.

And I dug through the trash can to find that teeny piece of paper that you had, just 12 hours before, scribbled your name and number. 

That night we met again.  And every weekend (since we lived in different cities) for the rest of my college year, we spent together.  When I move closer to home, we became closer.  Within 6 months of loving you, I knew that you would be the man for me, even if I would never admit it.

We've had our ups.  And we've had our downs.  We've managed to survive being total and complete opposites.  We have different cultures, opposing political views and different religions.  Yet I'd like to think that, most of the time, we balance each other.   And when our differences are too much to take, we find a way to get back to our common ground.  We always find our way back to one another.

I love you.  I live you.  I breathe you.  Unless you stink.  In which case, I run from you.

Happy Anniversary, baby.

Even a three year old can do it

Summertime Smoothies

• 10 oz apple juice, chilled
• 1 cup vanilla yogurt or fro-yo
• 2 cups strawberries, chilled (I use fresh, but you can freeze 'em for a thicker consistency)
• handful of icecubes

I think I'll teach him how to make magaritas next weekend.