I had the great opportunity to interview author and fellow working mom, Pamela Paul, about her new book Parenting, Inc. The book is an examination of the pressures that distort good sense and lead normally sane and smart people to reach into their pocketbooks to puchase all sorts of products and services related to parenting, babies, and "educational" entertainment. It is a must read for all parents. I personally believe the book should be standard issued at maternity wards all around Silicon Valley where we seem to be teaching our children only lessons in lavish consumerism and entitlement. Below is a lightly edited version of my conversation with Ms Paul.
What made you decide to research and write about the “Parenting Industry?”
It’s very personal to me. I actually had my second baby in the middle of working on this book. Like so many parents, I felt like I was being indoctrinated into a cult when I went into my first baby store as a pregnant person and was overwhelmed by just how much stuff there is. I felt like parents aren’t aware of the blatant marketing strategies and how parents are suckered into to a lot of things. Is it even possible for a toy to make a child smarter? Raising kids is such a fortune. Why are we making this more difficult for ourselves?
Some of the entrepreneurs and marketing agencies were very honest about their tactics and intentions. Have you experienced any backlash from those that contributed to the research?
[Laughs] Not Yet! It could happen.
A lot of writing for moms can be very condescending, like we don’t have brains of our own. I just felt like I’m just going to tell [moms] what these people said and they can see for themselves. I put forth what they were telling me. And it’s pretty damning a lot of times. They out right say “Yeah, we’re working off parent’s guilt. We can’t really say that but that’s what we are doing.”
I’ve been on a mission to change our spending habits. The book was very validating. Did researching and writing the book change your spending habits as a mother?
More than anything, the research that was eye opening to me what the environmental information and becoming more conscientious of the amount of waste I was generating and also the chemicals contained in so much baby gear. Temperamentally I am not a shopper. But like so many others, it is so much easier to get suckered into to things for the kids. It’s easier to rationalize “Oh its not for me, it’s not for my baby.” I did cut back a lot.
Do you have any advice for parents that read the book and realized that you’ve just described them? How they can break that cycle?
I think it’s about becoming better informed. One thing I would suggest parents do before they buy something is to question their motivations. Why I am buying this? Am I getting this to minimize frustration? To make my child happier? To make them smarter? As parents I think we focus on where children are going rather than they are in any given moment. I don’t think that does anybody any good.
I call it the “anxiety of under-spending.” You think that if you don’t get this stuff, then your child isn’t going to be as successful or happy or well adjusted and it’s silly. And so untrue.
