Step One:
Join the SV Mom's Group. This is reason 1,879,222 that I love writing for the SV Moms Group. Besides the fabulous writers and the best founders, it's the perks people! SV Mom's Group loves it writers and it shows. In the TWO free swag bags, an exclusive pre-BlogHer party, and now headshots for all their writers. Come one, what's not to love.
Step Two:
Get your make-up done by a fabulous Latino gay man who talks your ear off about your skin tone and coloring all the while wearing more make-up than he's putting on you. This is a crucial step because for the rest of the night people will tell you how great you look and you only have Eduardo to thank for it.
Step Three:
When you sit down for your free photo shoot, make sure you say to the photographer than you are ready. Or just plaster your smile the moment you are in front of the camera. Otherwise, you may look like you smoked a doobie before the session. Seriously, I swear that I had only had one teeny glass of wine .
Step Four:
When the photographer tells you to look "snobby" under no circumstances are you to make this face.
Nothing says "I'm a snobby bitch" more than a double chin and pancake lips.
Step Five:
Get your laugh captured on film. I always throw my head back when I am laughing. And since I was now officially being a diva, White Trash Mom had to come over and put me in my place. My cleaveage had no special charming powers over her.
Step Six:
Avoid the hair drama. When there is only one hair dresser to touch up over 100 women (some of them totally gorgeous and put together they never needed the hair or make-up to begin with), just brush your own hair and move on. I missed the hair drama since I always come prepared with my Texas hair already styled. I was hoping for a true mommy wrestling match over how got to sit down next in the chair, but alas every one kept it civil.
Step Seven:
Buckle down and take some real photos before the photographer tells you the session is over and hands you your free memory stick with all the photos - even the ones with the double chin.
