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All of these photos were taken by Darius.
Today marks the start of the backyard of our dreams. Okay, not so much the backyard of our dreams. More like the backyard of our budget.
We are going from a concrete jungle to a patio, some landscaping, grass, and maybe a couple new fruit trees. The backyard is costing us a small fortune. Honestly, we could have bought a new car with the amont we are spending on the back. But right now we have an usuable space. It isn't safe, it isn't fun, and it certainly isn't pretty.
We have lived in this house for nearly 18 months. And for all 18 months we haven't been able to use our front yard or the backyard. It's hard to have to tell your child that he can't play in his own backyard because it isn't safe. And while we can't afford to complete the front yard this year (we are thinking of putting in fake grass in the front which costs another small fortune), we will finally be able to have an outdoor living space.
I have the head-ache pleasure of working from home during the construction and landscaping. This just might make me crazy.
I cannot wait to have a real backyard. It's Christmas in August.
Since Darius was born I have always worked from home for a portion of my 40+ hour work week. Working from home is not easy. It is not for the faint of heart. You have to be dedicated and self-disciplined to be able to do it successfully.
In these four years of having a flexible work schedule, I have never had a home office. The entire house was my office. I have worked on my laptop on the couch and in the kitchen. From my bed and, yes there was even once, from the bathroom. I have worked in my pajamas. I have worked from home in nothing but my birthday suit. I have worked from home with a newborn on my breast, a baby on my lap, then a toddler by my side, and now a four year old boy playing beside me.
After four years of consistently working from home at least one day a week or more, I've decided to create a home office. I place that I can easily push away from at 5pm to start dinner. A place where I can leave my work. A boundary that keeps my working life separate from the rest of my home.
We don't have a ton of space in this little house. 1500 square feet doesn't go far with three adults and a four year old. We had already "converted" the family room into Darius' playroom by giving up any formal spaces in the house. The formal dining room? Yeah, we eat on that fancy table every night. The formal living room? It has two lived-in sofas, a coffee table that has seen better days, and our big TV.
I didn't have much choice as to where I would place my office. Okay, so it isn't really an office. It is my dad's old kitchen table which was once used as a changing table for Darius. It's not fancy. It's well lived in. And somehow it seems fitting.
After all, the work I do puts food on the table. And I've dealt with many crappy situations at work. Kitchen table + changing table = my new desk.
There is no place like a home office.
My palms are getting sweaty, my breath is becoming shallow, and my eyes dart from side to side. I quickly walk up to the merchandise and pick one off the shelf and bury it under the other groceries in my cart. When I check out, I refuse to make eye contact with the checker. I am embarrassed. When I get home, I quickly stuff the goods into the top drawer of my dresser. I take a deep breath.
I’m a 30-something mother who is mortified to buy *gasp* condoms.
It’s like I’m a teenager again - doing something that I know I’m NOT supposed to be doing. I am an adult in a loving committed relationship. I’m not seventeen. I’ve been having sex for all of my adult life and yet buying condoms still invokes a sense of shame in me. I am mortified every time I buy condoms.
For reasons that I know my spouse would kill me for sharing, condoms remain our only form of birth control. Yes I know that they aren’t effective as the pill the IUD or just about any other form of birth control, it is our only choice. Since we are still on the fence as to whether or not our son will remain an only child, permanent solutions are not an option for us.
And so it remains that every time we are out of condoms, I get feelings of shame and embarrassment at the store when buying condoms. I feel as if I have to justify the purchase to other shoppers in the grocery store. “I am married. Buying condoms when you are married is not a sin. I am NOT A SLUT. I am a mom who really doesn’t want any more babies right now.”
My spouse thinks we should buy them at Costco - you know, get the super giant pack that way we don’t have to pick them up as frequently. Have you ever paid attention to how many people check out your groceries at Costco? First there is the checker, then the person that moves your items from one cart to another, then the person at the door who checks your receipt. God forbid the door-person can’t see the super box of condoms and pokes around for it in the cart. Or I have to return an item on the receipt that has CONDOMS printed on it.
A friend of mine told me I could buy 'em online. Apparently the same companies that sell other adult items also carry contraceptives. I was told that the condoms would even be shipped in a discreet package - I suppose the same sort of packing one would expect when purchasing adult videos. But to buy them online and then see a brown paper package on our front step just feels sleazy. Besides, don't we all know what is inside of discreet packaging anyways? Now my postman would be thinking that we dabbled in more serious stuff than just buying condoms. I don't think I'd ever be able to talk to my postman again - and I'm guessing his Christmas tip would be larger than usual to pay off the guilt I'd be feeling for making him deliver the goods.
So I'll guess I'll be sticking to the store where I'll continue to turn red, shuffle my feet, and act like a naughty teenager who's buying...hee hee.. condoms. And trying really damn hard to be grown-up about it.
Original post for the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog
UPDATED: Congrats to Lisa @ Twisted Noodles for winning the "This is MY Swag" Contest.
When I came home with SIX bags of swag, I just knew that giveaways where in the future. Last week, Marketing Mommy won the "Momma wants a Swag Bag" contest. This week's contest doesn't have a single piece of kid-related swag. Yes that means you don't have to share with the kids. You get to keep it all for yourself (including the free underwear).
"This is MY Swag" Contest includes:
HP laptop sticker
A free pair of panties (yes, underwear)
Emerita Massage oil
Merci Chocolate
Orville Redenbacher Microwave popcorn
TNT DVD with an episode of The Closer and Saving Grace plus wine glass jewelry
Weight Watcher's hard candies
Manicure Kit
A magic eightball
Plus much much more
Estimated Value: $100.00
How to Enter "This is MY Swag" Bag Contest:
I’m officially getting old. Or spending way too much time in front of the computer. For the last month that it has been non-stop 10+ hours each day in front of my laptop while finishing my project. I have a feeling that those long hours did a doozie on my eyes. By the end each day, it felt like my eyes were twitching. I’d tear up on the drive home, my eyes not used to having to look at distances. I didn’t want to admit that my perfect 20/20 vision is no longer perfect.
I’ve always been known as the “eagle eyes” of the family. My mom and brother have terrible vision - my bro has been wearing glasses since he was in the second grade. But my eyes.... My eyes were perfect! I could see farther than most. My parents would have me read long distances on the freeway - I was always the first in the car to read a sign. I took pride in my perfect vision and was pleased when I passed on my supreme vision to my son.
But working in high-tech for the last 8 years where I spend ample time in front of my computer has slowly worn away at my perfect vision.
When I went to get a check-up (my first vision test as an adult), the eye doctor told me that I have an astigmatism. He explained that my eyes are having trouble focusing. While my vision is still technically 20/20, my eyes would be more comfortable in front of the computer wearing a pair of reading glasses.
Since I didn’t need a real prescription and I only need to wear the glasses when I’m sitting in front of my computer screen, he suggested an over the counter pair of reading glasses. It would save me money since having 20/20 vision I’ve always elected out of vision coverage at work. I guess I’ll have to re-think that one in the future.
On Saturday, I went to get reading glasses. I found really cute pairs in the lowest prescription for only $2.99. I bought four pairs: one for the house, one for the office, one in my laptop bag, and one spare. While I may be wearing glasses at work now, at least I can still be fashionable.
Original post for the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog
