Is it an Opt-Out Revolution or a Career Assassination?

Did you read the latest article in the NY Times aptly titled "The Other Home Equity Crisis"?  Go over and read the whole article (but let me tell you, the comments are carrying on a most interesting discussion too).

There has been no meaningful large-scale generational trend toward stay-at-home motherhood, [Economists] say. While women’s workforce participation did start to decline in 2000, interrupting decades of continual progress, this wasn’t because women chose joyfully to go home. Women left the workforce when the cost of child care ate up their entire after-tax salaries, or when family-unfriendly workplaces pushed them out. Or when, like women without children or men with and without children, they were laid off in a bad economy.

So why is it then that we all know of women who have "opted-out."  Are our SAHM-sistahs really just making lemonade of the career lemons?  An unsupportive husband, childcare that costs more than the average salary, a workplace that is still an old-boys club... are these the REAL REASONS why mothers leave the workforce? 

The evidence says YES.  So why are member of the "Opt-Out Revolution" saying NO?

Perhaps it is easier to say that you wanted to be a SAHM all along.  Perhaps its like giving birth - it is only raw and painful in the moment but after a few years you don't remember the pain and instead just focus on the baby.  Perhaps it's because we women have a horrible pattern of internalizing external forces and therefore feel guilty or ashamed for being forced out.

I'm not talking about all SAHMs.  I know plenty of women that truly feel there is no other place for them to be than in the home.  And while I cannot totally relate, I respect their choice.  I am talking here specifically of woman that claim they are opting out for a few years but plan on returning to the workforce when, presumably, their children are older, childcare costs are not sky-rocketling high as with infant/toddler care, and they find an employer who allows for flexibility. 

Why are these mothers being forced out of corporate world and then vehemently touting that this was a CHOICE? 

What are the reasons mothers are leaving the workforce?  Come out and say it.  If we expect the working world to be any different when mothers decide to opt-in (or better for those of us still in the trenches), you cannot pretend that there weren't real issues that kept you away to begin with.  You cannot stick your head in the sand and think that male-dominated fields will get better with time.  The Old Boys Club has been around since the beginning of time.  Speak the truth. 

We can't expect change if we aren't being honest with ourselves about the reasons why women are leaving the workforce.   Let's cut the warm-fuzzies and get to root cause.