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"Storm Troopers are fun because they get guns. Light Sabers are for pansies."
"What? I don't get my own gun??? The Emperor (aka Mom) says that I'll just have to improvise."
"Think I'll get more candy if I flash 'em with a killer smile?"
There are times in which I am glad I haven't given birth to a daughter. And when it comes to discussing birth control and abortion, I know that the same talk should be given to my son as would be given had he been born a girl. But the truth of the matter, whether we want to admit it or not, is that reproductive responsibilities are burdened on the female species.
Our bodies, our choices. While some men may claim that reproductive rights should be a decision that fathers gets to make too, we women will bear the children and, in most cases, be the primary caregivers. Is this fair? No, not at all. But it's reality.
As a grown woman, if I get pregnant, I can choose to have an abortion without a single family member knowing about it. If I was molested or raped, I wouldn't have to tell my parents or my neighbor or my spouse that I sought an abortion because I have the right to my body and my privacy.
In California, for the third time, there is a proposition that is trying to remove that right for teen girls. The proposition imposes a 48-hr waiting period where a parent or guardian will be notified of the teen's request to have an abortion.
And while you may think that if your teen daughter was ever in this position that you would want to know and you would want to be there for her, remember that your teen still has the ability to come forward and tell you. We do not need to make laws for communicating to our minor teens.
Think about the girls who don't have a great relationship with their parents. Girls who may have been raped by their own fathers or a family member. Girls whose families are so religious that they will force her to remain pregnant.
Prop 4 cannot force teens to talk to their parents, but it may force them to do something dangerous out of desperation. Under the guise of protecting teenage girls, Prop 4 is really the latest attempt to impose restrictions on reproductive freedom.
Californians did the right thing in 2005 and 2006 by voting No on similar propositions. Let's defeat this campaign once and for all.
All of my Grandparents were rasied on farms. They always had animals that would be put up for slaughter. It was a way of life. But they never were cruel to their animals. They didn't keep their animals in cages barely bigger than the animal. Animals were allowed to stand up and *gasp* even be able to walk around.
I'm not saying that animals that are raised for food should be treated like our pets. But every animal deserves to live a humane life.
The stories of my grandparents are similar to the stories of small farmers today. I believe it's the factory farms that care more about their profits than they do about animal welfare or public health.
Proposition 2 prevents animal cruelty, plain and simple. Beginning in 2015, pregnant pigs, calves raised for veal, and egg-laying hens will not be confined in manner that does not allow them to turn around freely, lie down, stand up, and full extend their limbs. It gives these factory farms 7 years to replace their severe confinement methods with human practices.
Food quality and food safety are enhanced by better farming practices. The price of an egg will only go up one PENNY. I think every Californian can afford a penny increase to know that the hen laying the egg is humanely treated.
A "Yes" vote on Proposition 8 changes the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry but stipulating that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. In a nutshell, Proposition 8 discriminates against the GLBT community by eliminating equal rights under the law.
Equality under the law is a fundamental freedom. Regardless of your personal or religious views on marriage, we all deserve to have the same rights as law abiding citizens. No one group should be singled out and treated differently under the law.
America has a long tainted past of discriminating against minorities in this country. We have shameful history of promoting a "separate but equal" stance to continue to discriminate against those different from ourselves. Whether it has been people of color, women, and those with different religious views, those in the majority have not always acted with the interests of the people. This is the reason why we have checks and balances in our government.
Voting Yes on Prop 8 does not mean that you are keeping the sanctity of marriage. In fact, the court ruling on gay marriage already stated that “no religion will be required to change its religious policies or practices with regard to same-sex couples, and no religious officiant will be required to solemnize a marriage in contravention of his or her religious beliefs.” Your church does not have to marry gay couples and tax-exemption is not at risk.
The government has no business telling people who can and cannot get married. We do NOT need more government in our lives.
For those planning on voting Yes on Prop 8, I urge you to think of the gay and lesbians in your life that you are discriminating against. I urge you to think of your children. What if they fall in love with a person of the same sex? Don't you want them to have the same rights as you? Doesn't every person have the right to dignity and respect with the same freedoms as every other Californian?
Do not vote to take away the equality, freedom, and fairness that everyone in Calfornia - straight or gay - deserves. Vote No on Prop 8.
With the Presidential Election just days away and some very important Props on the California ballot, this week I’ll be focusing on everything political. I will not apologize for my “liberal” views and encourage a healthy debate. I ask that everyone keeps their hands to themselves - no mud slinging or throwing punches across the aisle. I will be closely moderating comments and will delete any that are offensive. After all, this is my blog and we’ve already established that I am The Boss.
The wonderful part of the political process is that each and every single person can make their voice heard. So let’s be civil, let’s debate the issues, and then let’s all go vote on November 4th.
I'm over at Work It, Mom today talking about sexual harassment in the workplace. A manager at the company I work for was recently fired for harassing one of his employees.
Come on over and share your experiences.
One of my childhood friends sent me this photo:
That's me, Katie, and Shannon on our first day of seventh grade. I am the one on the left with big permed bob. My hair was awesome, people. AWESOME. And I am wearing an Espirit skort. I have on Sam and Libby ballet flats too.
That's Katie's mom's hatchback next to me. We were so frickin' cool that we didn't have to walk to school.
I remember feeling like such a grown-up on the first day of Junior High. I also remember feeling incredibly nervous. I would be making new friends and have a different teacher for every class. I remember being so nervous about finding my way around the school - what if I got lost and, god forbid, was tardy? The goodie-two-shoes in me was practically getting an ulcer from the stress of the passing period. Then there was gym class where you had to change into your PE uniform in front of other girls. So embarrassing.
Seventh grade was the year that I had my first boyfriend. Had my first real kiss. Attended my first school dance. Seventh grade was the year that I had my first fight with my best friend. It was the year that I got to go on my first "group date" - my dad let me and five other friends see a movie while he watched a different one. Seventh grade was also the year that I took Journalism and found a love for writing.
In some ways, seventh grade feels like a lifetime ago. And in others, it feels like it was just yesterday. I look at my life now: successful career, good mother, home owner, responsible citizen. And yet there is still a part of me that feels like that young adolescent. Hoping to fit in, wanting to make friends, unsure of myself, questioning my every move.
Some say childhood is the best time of your life. Others say that you spend your while life trying to get over your childhood. For me, I think it is a little of both.
Except now, I wouldn't be caught dead in a skort.
I love free stuff. I especially love free stuff during this crappy economy. Cool stuff that I don't have to pay for... well, that is right in my price range. If you love free stuff too check out these contests and giveaways all over the blogosphere.
Darius received an I See Me book last year and it is still one of his favorite books. The books are a unique gift for a special little someone in your life. Plus MommyVents has a FREE SHIPPING CODE for any product you order - FSD13665.
Is your holiday spending budget non-existent this year? Have no fear. Check out HP's crafty holiday ideas. You can make an adorable hand-made photo album for practically pennies on the dollar. Don't want to print out the stuff? No problem! Enter to win a folder filled with HP crafts.
Want a smartphone but don't have the budget for one? Go enter to win a Nokia E-71 at Hormone-Colored Days. Hurry - contest ends tonight!
I cut out my Starbucks for a good cause. But no good deed goes unnoticed. Over at Mummys Product Reviews you have a chance to win a $20 Starbucks card.
If you are having a contest this week, let me know in the comments. I'm happy to share the link love.
Updated: Congrats to Geminigirl64 for winning the Crafty Giveaway. Look for an email from me in your inbox! **Winner chosen by random at random.org
Last Thursday, I attended a fun Girl's Night Out hosted by Hewlett Packard and Maria Bailey. I have to say, I am not a very crafty person. I can knit and I can do beginner-skill embroidery - but I haven't done either of those since well before my mothering years. I don't have time for that sort of thing.
Or so I thought. In just 1 hour, I had made a whole assortment of crafty gifts (all which will be used this holiday season). And since HP was so generous, now you can too.
I am a Crafty Momma Giveaway includes...
How to Enter this Crafty Contest:
**You can still enter if you don't have a Twitter account, make sure you let me know in the comments
If you haven't joined Twitter, you should. Don't ask me what it is for... because let's be serious, Twitter isn't solving any of the world's problems. But it is incredibly fun and entertaining. You are making connections. And as we all know, networking is everything.
So join and then follow me. I am whostheboss. Once you'll follow me, you'll get to read my thrilling updates like...
"My son just picked out the Naughty Nurse costume for me. so wrong"
"It's sad when dressing up means putting on your 'nice jeans.'"
"I'm sick of being the only person in this house who is capable of buying milk or flushing the toilet."
"i think the guy on the other side of my cube has fallen asleep and is snoring. Or he just breathes really f'ing loud"
Okay, so it isn't my best work. But still, follow me. You won't regret it.
Yesterday, Batman dropped in on a local firehouse to ensure that the fire-fighters were in tip top shape for the city.
First Batman inspected the fire truck. Good job firemen - the truck is clean and ready for action.
Then Batman inspected the firehose. Afterall, what's the good of responding to the fire if you can't actually put it out? Again, these firemen keep their equipment clean and untangled.
When the firefighters were called out on a real emergency, Batman swung into action to save the visiting preschool children. He made sure they stood together in a group so that no child was crushed by the enormous wheels of the firetruck.
All in all, Batman gave this firehouse an A- grade. The only thing missing?
Snack.
Okay, so I may have been a little cranky yesterday. It's just that stupid people bug me. The person that I am dealing with just doesn't grasp the scope of the project. If I explained you the scope, I'm pretty sure you would get it... but I guarantee that you would probably keel over from boredom when I started talking in my Business Operations, Strategic Initiatives, Project Manager voice.
After a three hour meeting, we were able to all get on the same page. I'm concerned that the project is so simple that folks are having a hard time wrapping their heads around the limited scope. The project could be so much more. But it isn't. It isn't glamorous. We aren't curing cancer over here.
Today I woke up with a determination to get through my list of things to do. I have major documentation to complete (in hopes that I won't have to keep repeating myself), open items that still need to be resolved, and a handful of meetings that may be important to others but today will be more of a distraction than anything else. I'm not gonna let it get me down. My frustrated day reminded me of the importance of setting clear and precise goals. As much as I'd like to blame the dude for being dumb, I have to take responsibility too.
It's my job to make sure that everyone is on-board in a project and getting their tasks done. Kinda reminds me of parenting. Only this way I'm telling 40 year old what to do.
When you are assigned an insane amount of projects to manage, can't even keep one of them under control for two days because of repeatting the scope ump-teen million times to the one idiot who just doesn't get it, all the while making the mistake of volunteering to lead holiday crafts at your son's preschool, do you...
a.) Spend an entire morning documenting the shit out of a very simple process that even a monkey could understand?
b.) Reserve a conference room just so that you have an escape. And then lock yourself in there for an hour so you can blog and catch up on personal email?
c.) Take a deep breath and explain the process one. more. time. Only this time with a smile and a kirtsy?
d.) Forget about work and spend two hours researching "easy" kid crafts?
Last week I traveled past California's capital to the satellite office of my new manager. I am staying in the same organization I was in before, but have a new department, role, and manager. So basically, the only thing that has stayed the same is the limited contact I have with my VP. Comforting, right?
My new manager is also a working mom. She has been with the company for over a decade and seems to really know her stuff. My only issue so far is that she may be forgetting that I am a total newbie at this company. In fact, the closest person to me in terms of years of service, has been here for 6 years. In other words, everyone else has connections, knows the ropes, and knows what to expect. On the one hand, it means that I have a knowledgable team that can help me get up to speed. On the other hand, it means that I have a major learning curve ahead.
I have a month to get up to speed on the SIX projects I will be managing. Only two of those projects have any structure. The rest I get to run with, and hopefully, hit of the park when they are all raging successes. A month isn't very long considering that I still struggle with just creating a damn expense report at this company. In fact, it took me two hours just to navigate on the travel website and book one single night at a hotel. I swear I am normally not this slow.
I have a lot to learn, a lot of connections to make, and make a great impression in not a lot of time.
It's going to be a busy month.
And no, for once, that wouldn't be S-E-X. We are in a financial crisis, people! Get your head out of the gutter.
I'm over at the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog today, writing about this economic situation. What are we doing in my family to ride out the storm? Basically what your parents should have taught you about money. That's save more, spend less, and don't buy on credit. I say should because apparently not enough people, including CEOs of many banks, seemed to understand that lesson.
Come on over and join other moms in the discussion.
Since Darius was born, I've taken about a dozen business trips. If you do the math, that's just three trips a year. Nothing compared to what some corporate citizens have to endure in their careers. Because my travel requirements are light, I think fondly of all my business trips. Even the sucky ones in lame places with long lay-overs in airports and terrible hotel room service. I think fondly of them because when I returned there was a smiling baby, then a toddler who would run to me with open arms, and now a little boy that shouts to the heavens "MOM-MA" when he sees me again.
I've learned important lessons on parenting from these business trips. Like you probably don't want to get your kid in the habit of getting a really cool present every single time you leave. And if you really want to get your kid something, make sure you plan it out so you don't spend $19.95 on a "I love Denver" shirt in the airport.
I've learned to not talk about a trip too far in advance of the actual trip. Or you may end up with an hysterical toddler sobbing into his chicken and rice at the dinner table. I've learned to never ever tell your child that maybe one day he will get to go with you on a trip because that child will remember that promise and mention every single time you ever talk about a business trip again.
And I've learned to never ask your spouse what he made for dinner while you were away. Because, really, you don't want to know that your kid hasn't had a fruit or vegetable in a week and is probably only still alive thanks to hotdogs and canned chili.
I left for another business trip this morning. It's a short two day jaunt to an office three hours away. When you think of business trips this one should be easy. Except I am still learning the toughest lesson of all...
How can I stop my heart from breaking a little every time I say good-bye?
Darius and his daddy huddled around my computer looking for paper airplane designs on the internet this morning. With both of them still in PJ’s, looking up websites dedicated to paper airplanes, it was fun to watch them.
I know the day will come when Darius doesn’t want to use his mother’s computer and we invest in one for the family. When I have to perform random checks on his “friends” on Facebook or MySpace. When I decide where the computer resides, what sort of protection software I install, and talk about online predators.
As Darius slowly types the letters on the keyboard for a search, I watch my child learn the power of information. All brought forth by my computer, a flat screen monitor, and a wireless mouse.
The computer in this house will change, but for now I’m happy it’s a new form of father-son bonding. Even if paper airplanes are flown inside.
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Last Thursday night I attended the New Formulas for Success event hosted by Mommy Track'd and Flexperience. The night included an impressive panel of executive working mothers. Driving up to San Francisco with blogging mamas, Stacy and Linsey, the night was feeling like a productive Mom's Night Out.
I attended the event last year and found the key take-away then was there is no single formula for success. The panelists all had customized their careers, child-care situations, and their juggle to find what worked for their family. Last year, I realized that strategies for being a successful employee and a successful mother were not cookie-cutter. YOU have to figure out what is going to work for YOU and then make it work.
With an all executive panel this year, I was hoping for more great take-aways that I could apply in my continuing struggle for work-life balance. With working mothers who are CEO's, VP's in High-Tech, General Counsels, and Producers in the Film Industry... well simply put, I had high expectations. I hoped these women would talk about how they continued to be successful in their careers after having children. I hoped they would discuss the strategies they use to keep their sanity besides hiring a great nanny or having a housekeeper.
This year's take-away was about incorporating discipline in your working life and your professional life. I think these women determined the little things that were important and threw out those that didn't have meaning to them. For example, one of the panelists gave up the idea of having a family dinner. Instead she has the nanny feed her kids before she gets home and then has quality time with them till bedtime. I could see how these women had made trade-offs to have raise children while having an executive career.
However, I got the feeling that not a single one of them was willing to sacrifice their career just because they were mothers. I came to the conclusion that not that much changed, career-wise, when these women became mothers. Sure they now left the office every day at 6pm, but they all admitted to being online for hours after the kids went to bed. As the CEO of BabyCenter said "balance is bunk." It's hard to hear that the way to be successful is to not get much sleep.
I found a lot of what the panel to say a bit on the side of cliche. Each one of the women said that being a working mother was harder than they had imagined. Well, no shit! Being a mother is hard work. Let alone working full-time. We all know it is hard work. I walked away from the evening feeling disappointed that we didn't dive deeper into what these incredibly successful women actually do to be successful.
What if you could do more than just change the world? What if you could change the world of those living in your own neighborhood?
Well, you can change the world. Education has been proven to be the most powerful tool to end poverty.
The Silicon Valley Mom's Blog is participating in this year's Blogger's Challenge with Donors Choose. The organization works directly with teacher's to fund projects in their classroom. Most of the projects center around giving children the basics like a classroom library, art supplies, and equipment for PE.
Considering donating your daily latte to a school in your area that needs help. How can a $5 donation change the world? Because it will help to change the educational experience of a child.
I gave up a month's worth of lattes. How about you?
“Momma, are you married?”
“Yes”
“Do I have to get married?”
“No, you don’t have to get married. Besides, you can’t until you all grown-up.”
“I think I’ll marry you when I am bigger.”
“That’s very sweet, but Momma is already married to Daddy.”
“Well, we are a family.”
“Yes."
“So we can all marry each other, right?”
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