Who's The Boss?

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It's hard for me to believe that I've been blogging for three years.  Three years ago, I didn't know what a blog was, had never read a blog, and didn't know that I'd ever have my own blog.  I was a busy corporate mom, working way too many hours, feeling out of sorts in both my professional world and my personal one.  My only source of "venting" was a daily call to my mother and emotionally unloading more on my spouse than should be allowed in a healthy relationship.

In a nut shell, I was struggling. 

I still remember the day that I received an email from an acquaintance of mine, Jill Asher.  We belonged to the same Mother's Club.  A club that I was desperately trying to make "work" in my life but wasn't feeling the support I needed.  Jill sent out an email on the Mother's Club calling for writers.  Jill was co-founding a blog for mothers in Silicon Valley and she needed mothers willing to write about their unique experiences mothering children in the land of high tech. 

Barf-alooza

It all started in the wee hours on Monday morning.  Darius had crawled into our bed sometime in the middle of the night.  The clock read 4:something when I heard that wreching sound.

Darius puked on me.  Screamed bloody murder and then puked again.

On me.

Thank god he had an empty stomach and the puke was more bile-like water than anything else.

Well, isn't that the prettiest picture I just painted for you, eh?

Would you go to the end of the earth for your brother?

My brother and I have never been very close.  I don't know if it is because of our personalities or the fact that we spent the majority of our childhood in headlocks.  Ryan and I fought a lot as kids.  I don't know if it was more than other kids.  But most of my childhood memories involving my brother also include yelling, crying, and physical violence. 

It's hard for me to write that, as adults, my brother and I aren't close at all.  We barely speak to one another.  It's not because we harbor ill will toward one another.  Rather, we just never bonded with a tight sibling relationship.  We get updates on our lives through our parents.  Honestly, if my dad didn't fly my brother to California twice a year, I probably would only have seen my brother once since he moved to Arizona three years ago. 

When I read books like Who By Fire with a storyline about siblings I'm a little hesitant to "get into it."  A sister traveling across the world to rescue her brother.  Really?  Would a sister do that?  Would I do that?  The truth is, I don't know if I would.

Boys will be boys

There is too much "boyness" going on in my household.  I am severly outnumbered. Okay, there is only one more male here, but still. 

First, what is it with guys not being able to find anything unless it smacks them in the face? When Darius goes looking for something, he literally stands in the middle of the room and then looks up at the walls and ceiling.  Last time I checked, buddy, your stuff is always on the floor.  And it's not just Darius.  Neville is constantly putting something down in some random spot and then getting mad at me when I "move" it.  But we know that the reality isn't that I moved it; he just can't remember the damn random spot where he set it down.

And the bathroom talk is at an all time here.  I am so sick of hearing about who has to poop, how long they pooped, or the size & color of the poop.  I HAVE NO INTEREST IN YOUR POOP. 

"As long as we are human, there will still be work to do"

I don't know about you, but I am more excited about doing the work now.

Thanks CityMama for the link.

Why I turned off BlogHer Ads

It all started with this post.   I wrote about our Christmas and how is was made better by Leapfrog toys.  A couple of days later, I received an email from BlogHer Ads saying that I was violating their rule of blogging about an item valued over $40 that I received for free.   I would have to edit my post in order to comply with their policy. 

I did nothing.  I remembered the policy.  Afterall, I did sign an agreement to be in their ad network.  But I also didn't want to change my post.  Had I not mentioned that those gifts were given to me by Leapfrog, I wouldn't have violated the policy.  It didn't seem right that I would have to change my post for item valued over $40 when I don't even make that much money in two months from their ad network.

Reflection and hope

When I was in elementary school, there was always a class assembly on Martin Luther King Jr's birthday.  We would learn about Rosa Parks and the bus boycott in Montgomery.  We heard about segregation.  And every year we listened to the famous "I had a Dream" speech. 

In college I studied Feminism with a concentration on Movements, Policy, and Legal Studies.  I engrossed myself in the writings of women scholars who taught about racism and sexism.  I learned about privilege.  I changed the lens through which I saw the world. 

He's no Lance Armstrong

Darius is learning how to ride his bike without training wheels.  In all honesty, the job of helping him learn does not fall on my shoulders.  It is a Daddy Duty.  I mean, don't we all have memories of our dads running along side us while we nervously pedaled without the safety of our trusty training wheels?  Beside which, I'm not a fast runner and I don't think I could do much to save Darius from falling.  Or hitting a tree.  Or cycling right into the street.  I can just see it now - Darius falling, me dashing to save him to only trip or miss, and fall on top of him and the bike.  And believe me, I weigh just a smidge more than his bike.

About a month ago, Neville and Darius went over to a local school on a Saturday morning to practice.  Darius was starting to get pretty good and Neville wanted him to be able to go further distances than what our street allows.  Since making a turn without falling was still proving to be a challenge, Neville thought the openness of the school would let Darius go straight longer and hopefully build up some confidence. 

I stayed home to get lunches ready.  Oh, and I pulled out some first aid supplies too -- just in case.

Company Road Trip

Today I get the misfortune pleasure of driving to Rocklin for a Ops Review.  For those of you who don't know every small city in America, Rocklin is near Sacramento.  I swear it has the world's largest mall and every restaurant chain know to man plus a billion hotels for business travellers.  But I'm not exacty sure that people actually live there.

It is also where my boss works (she lives in a much rizty-er area of the Sacramento area).   And I get to make the three hour drive there to see her. 

Which I am excited about.  The seeing her. Not the driving three hours part.

Balance is a four letter word

I'm over at Work It Mom this week talking about my latest epiphany as a working mom:

Balance is a load of sh*t .

Really, we should make bumperstickers and t-shirts with the slogan.  It should be taught as a part of your newborn classes you take when you're pregnant. 

The faster we working mommas realize that "having it all" was a slogan created by a marketing company trying to sell us magazines, shampoo, or deodorant, then faster we'll realize that our full potential doesn't lie in doing everything for everyone else. 

Come on over and check it out.

How to spend $1000 in one frickin' day

Decide that you absolutely must put new tires on your car before you take two long road trips to destinations with extreme weather. 

Without checking prices anywhere, because afterall, you are a busy working mom with a crazy schedule and two upcoming road trips in extreme weather, you simply go to Costco and have them put on whatever tire is the right size for your car that's in stock.

Throw down nearly $600. 

Barf in your mouth a little from the price.

How long can I call it "baby weight?"

"Momma, why is your belly so jiggly?"

"Because I carried you in my belly for 41 weeks."

"Wow.  I must have kicked and pushed a lot in there to make your belly so big."

"Believe me, you did."

"I really stretched your belly.  I mean, just feel it.  Its so squishy!"

"Can we talk about something else?"

Did you miss me?

Come on, admit it.  You hated that I took a blogging break.  You longed for my witty writing.  It's ok.  According to my mother, I am a FAMOUS blogger so I know you were all unhappy with me being gone. 

Ok, so I'm hardly famous.  But still, I know you've been checking in to see when I would pick up the pen again.  Ok, so I hardly ever write with an actual pen unless it is to jot down something important like PICK UP MILK on a post-it that I then I attach to my phone in hopes I'll remember before I turn into the driveway home. 

Taking this little break was glorious.  Not worrying about what I'll write or when I'll write or remembering toleave my mother out it, made life easier.  I've come to realize that while I can naturally write about a lot of stuff, I am not a natural writer.  I didn't miss it once.  And while there were many time I thought that I could actually blog about something, that nagging feeling was gone way before I could even find my laptop.

It helped that Darius was sick, there was a little thing called Christmas, and my brother was in town for a week.  We saw lots of movies, played lots of Wii bowling, and watched our Mii's jump up and down on the scale dependant solely on when we last pooped or snuck into the box of See's chocolates. 

Having the break also allowed me time to reflect on 2008.  I dealt with another acquisition this year and changed job roles three times because of it.  I got the opportunity to work from home full-time but turned it down when I realized that I don't have that much discipline.  Neville and I made it back from hell and are stronger than ever.  Darius proved that, despite being raised by me and my don't-be-the-victim attitude, he will be a compassionate person.  Neville finished grad school and we survived our first major home project - the backyard.   Finally right before Christmas, we sat helpless as we watched Neville's aunt lose her battle to breast cancer.  All in all 2008 was filled with a little great, lots a good, a bit of bad, and a dash or two of ugly.  2008 wasn't the best year for us.  But it certainly wasn't the worst.

I don't know what 2009 will bring.  But whatever it is, I'm hoping it decreases the size of my ass.