Who's The Boss?

who's keeping score?

I'd like to think of myself as a good person.  I do a lot for my family.  I'm not complaining about my life.  It's challenging.  It's rewarding.  It's a good life. 

I am the primary caregiver, the breadwinner, the meal planner, the short order cook, the one who does the laundry, often takes out the trash, wraps every single present we've ever given to another human being.  I'm the only grandchild that always calls my grandma the day I receive a card in the mail from her.  I've been barfed on.  A lot.  I'm almost always the first person up and the last person to bed.  I've cooked meals for my entire extended family.  I've probably mopped enough square footage of tile floors to cover the continental United States. 

Some days, I wish that I could pull out some play book and get credit for all the work I do do.

If I mess up, forget something, don't return a call, put something in the wrong place, break a glass, don't mail a letter for two months, miss a doctor appointment, or generally feel like I'm failing, I can pull out my pad and remind myself (and others) about all those other times when I had my act together, was on the ball, managed it all, and made it look easy.

but, really, who's keeping score? 

4 Meals Under $10

You all know I love to cook.  I'm never gonna be on Top Chef.  I'm no glamorous cook.  My speciality is cooking comfort food for my family and friends.  With the economy continuing to spiral out of control, I've been more mindful of how much we spend on just about everything.  I've never been one to clip coupons, by only the generic brand, or really pay attention to how much I'm spending on groceries. 

Just by taking a look at the sale ad from my local grocery chain (no coupon clipping required), I was able to save 50% on my grocery bill last week.  That's right -- half of what I would normally pay.  I stocked up on meat ($4 for a mega pack of drumsticks that will translate into 3 meals for my family), breads for $1, eggs, and much more. 

So I bring you my new favorite meals under $10 (for my family of four, that's $2.25 a serving for each person.  That even beats fast food).

Would you pay alimony to your husband?

  Since entering the workforce, I have always made more money than my college sweetheart turned domestic partner.  From the beginning my mate has taken more risks with his career while I steadily climbed the ladder in the same field. From taking a two-year break to pursue a dream (that eventually went flop) to juggling a full-time job while getting his MBA, he’s never cared too much about how much money he made.  I think that will change for him once he tries to get an ROI on his Santa Clara University graduate degree.  But I also know that if I ever asked him to become "Mr. Mom", he’d jump at the chance. 

When I read the new trend for men to claim alimony from their high powered wives during a divorce, I was intrigued.  Well, intrigued isn’t the right word.  My gut reaction was shock and a little disbelief.  I always thought of alimony as out-of-date and should never be used.  But when I started to really think about why I was so turned off by the idea of men asking for alimony, I realized just how biased I really was...

The feminist in me saw alimony as valid for wives that helped their husbands get ahead.  But guys who want it are deadbeats who aren’t willing to get a real job.  Harsh, I know. 

I personally have a few women in my professional network that have stay-at-home husbands who play the role of domestic CEO while the “little lady” pursues an executive career.  The trend may be higher here in Silicon Valley where some of the dads may be “retiring” after making a pretty penny with start-ups and acquisitions that never seem to stop.  

If one partner gives up his or her dream to help the other person achieve theirs, why wouldn't alimony be an option?   Both men and women have been able to ask for alimony in a divorce since the 70s. If you ask your spouse to stay-at-home with the kids, aren't you realizing the potential risk of alimony if ever your marriage ends?   Does it really matter if the spouse that stays home is a man or a woman?

The law says that it doesn't matter.  So why does public opinion say otherwise? 

Original post for the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog

6x6

One of my new favorite bloggers (not that she is a new blogger, but I just started reading her a couple of weeks ago) pinged me for a 6x6 meme.  This one I can do.

Rules: Choose the 6th image out of your 6th picture folder from your computer and blog it. Then tag 6 more people to do the same.

I'll admit that I was very afraid of what I might find.  And then I realized... I don't really have any photos to be afraid of.  It's not like we a re shooting soft porn in this house when Darius goes to sleep. 

The 6th folder in MyPictures is Disney - Day 2 from our fantastic trip to Disneyland last December.  The 6th photo in was this one.

probably the last time a company ever invites me to a focus group

Fifty bucks to the first person who can tell me what "kijiji" means without looking it up on Google.

I know, I know.  Kijiji sounds like a pet name for my va-jay-jay, but it's not.  Don't worry, the first time I ever heard the name I was all "K-who-who?" too. 

Yesterday I met with some people at Kijiji and some of my fellow mommybloggers to discuss their brand and website.  I don't think one of us knew about kijiji before our invite to the focus group.  We had a lively discussion about brand and names and why we love/hate/use/promote/talk about certain websites. 

For those of you still wondering why a company would brand themselves after a va-jay-jay, a quick lesson...

pop quiz

When your spouse asks to borrow your camera and you find this on your memory card do you...

a. confront him about the dirty photos on your camera and see if he knows what the hell your talking about.

b. hope to god he's taking a photo of the first (and only) time he's ever cleaned the thing.

c. print it and frame it. afterall, he spends more time there than any other room in the house.

d. realize he has way too much free time on his hands and double his "honey-do" list.

slippery slope

We got our nose toes wet at the Circus. 

.

.

.

Then dived head-first for Disney on Ice.

In March it will be Thomas the Tank Engine.

I'm not sure what comes next...

High School Musical?  Or losing my sanity (plus a chunk of my wallet on the merchandise)?

Will fair pay mean less pay for everyone?

Did you know that over 80 percent of job losses are hitting men?   Women now surpass men in the labor force, taking the majority for the first time in US history, without the proportion of working women changing.  This means that there aren't any more woman in the workforce that there was a few months ago... there is just less men in the workforce.

On the heels of the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act going into law, I'm over at Work It Mom today asking....

Are more men are being laid off because women are just as educated and hard working... but are considerably cheaper?

I need a hero

Darius came home yesterday, arms filled with Valentines.  He had to show me just what everyone had given him.  At the top of the list was the Valentine from Mr. Kevin, a student aide at the preschool. 

I figured it was his favorite since Mr. Kevin's valentine was attached to a Tootsie Roll Pop (which just so happens to be Darius' favorite lollipop).  But no, it was the valetine itself.  Some sort of superhero that I hadn't seen before.  When I asked him about the hero, he shrugged and said...

"It's Ironing Man."

Seriously, that's my kinda super hero.  I'd like to know if he works with Laundry-Man, Dusting-Man, and Mopping-Man to rid the world of clutter and bacteria. 

If so, then I am Ironing Man's biggest fan.

Please vote for me

This is a sticky post and will remain at the top of Who's the Boss for the next week.  Scroll down to see new brilliant writing.

I was selected as one of ten finalists for the Mabel's Labels BlogHer 09 Contest.   My post about being a frazzled working mom who finds a community in blogging must have struck a cord.  Please head over to blogcontest.mabel.ca and vote for me. 

Voting closes on Monday February 23, 2009 at 12:00pm EST.
There is only 1 vote allowed per person.

Be Mine or Die

 

This is what happens when you cross Friday the 13th with Valentines Day.  Instead of being sweet valentine cookies, these look like scary demands written in blood.  Be Mine or else...

Begin shameless groveling

I'm one of those people that is always standing next to the person that wins a raffle.  Or gets the final number in Bingo.  Or gets black-jack at a casino.  I seem to have a knack for bringing other people luck. 

So you can imagine my surprise when I was selected as one of ten finalists for the Mabel's Labels BlogHer 09 Contest.   My post about being a frazzled working mom who finds a community in blogging must have struck a cord.

But now I need your help.  Please don't let me be the girl who stands next to the one who wins.  I need your vote.

Please head over to blogcontest.mabel.ca and vote for me. 

Voting will open at 12:00pm EST today. (Thursday, February 12, 2009)
Voting closes on Monday February 23, 2009 at 12:00pm EST.
There is only 1 vote allowed per person.

Seriously, everytime a mommyblogger wins a contest, an angel gets its wings.  And you don't want to be responsible for wingless angels, now do you?  Do you? 

Memo to my body

To the black hair growing on my chin,
Why don't you just give up already.  You know that the moment I see you sprouting, I'm gonna pluck you like a bad tomato.   And while we're at it, don't think I haven't noticed you trying to recruit other black hairs to join your cause.  You cannot all take residence on my chin.  I won't allow it.  Do us both the favor and just stop coming back. 

To my period,
I know there was a time in my life where I did the happy dance every time you visited.  But now, these monthly visits only remind me of the biological clock that is ticking and the months we are wasting being undecided about increasing our family.  So can you make your visit a little more graceful with less cramping and no PMS?  Plus the amount of water retention you are bringing could be classified as cruel and unusual punishment.   I'm not saying don't come -- we aren't ready for another surprise.  But a little kindness could go a long way.

To  my brain,
Alright, even I'll admit that is pretty damn funny that you can remember the details of a project I worked on five years ago but you can't remember if I turned off the coffee pot before leaving the house.  I've made serious changes in my behavior (like writing every damn thing down else YOU FORGET IT), but we need to discuss what is really going on here?  Can't remember if I paid a bill but can remember what I wore to Thanksgiving dinner.  You think it's funny, but it's driving my bat-shit crazy.  So please have long-term memory go bitch slap short-term memory or we are all gonna be in serious trouble.

Cuddle-bug

I wasn't ever a lovey-dovey child.  Actually, I'm not a very lovey-dovey adult.  I rarely hug others.  Like really, wrap your arms around another person's body and hug them.  I'm much more inclined to give the one arm hug.  I don't like being in close physical proximity to others.  I don't like holding hands with my spouse and I think PDA should be against the law.

Some of my former co-workers can attest to witnessing my sheer horror when as business associate would want to hug.  Why does a business meeting include hugging?  Isn't that what handshakes are for?!?

When I was a child, I would often get mad when my mother asked for hugs or kisses.  Affection came on my own terms.  When I wanted to cuddle, I would cuddle.  But if I wasn't in the mood, then there was no way you were going to wrap your arms around me.  Honestly, this has caused problems in my relationship with Neville from time to time.  He is sort of the same way and often, the timing of our need to have physical touch in our relationship often comes when the other person is not in the mood.  I'm not talking about doing the nasty - just everyday touching, hugging, holding hands that most couples do in their everyday lives.

Darius is the only person on this earth who I want to hug and kiss and cuddle and smooch and smother.  Like all the time. 

I totally messed this one up

"Are you my only mom?"

"Yes, I am your only mom."

"But you can have more than one mom, right?"

"You can only have one birth mom.  But you can have more than one mom that takes care of you and is your family."

"Momma, you have two dads."

Snow Day

Last weekend, we made the trek up to the snow with some family and close friends.  A long drive up I-80 and we found ourselves at a lovely snow park.  To say that Darius loved the snow would be an understatement. 

 

Catching air.  Doesn't he look like a pro with those sunglasses?

Legos: Great Product, Useless Packaging

  My son has morphed into a serious Lego-lover.  He practically plays exclusively with the big bin of Lego at his preschool.  For Christmas last year, he's Number One request to Santa was for a Star Wars Lego set.  A lucky boy, not only did he get the Annakin Skywalker's fighter plane but he also received four other lego sets from friends and family.  The kid couldn't have been happier. 

I didn't mind spending hours as the co-engineer in the putting together the spaceship, the garbage truck, or the rescue helicopter.  One set was 445 pieces and I swear I only cursed in head when I saw the high volume of teeny tiny pieces.  I had to pull out my reading glasses for a couple of steps to figure out what really changed in their universal (read: no words) installation diagrams.

But what got under my skin wasn't the seemingly endless amount of pieces.  It was their terrible packaging.  Sure they come in nice sturdy cardboard boxes with graphic pictures.  But as soon as you open that box filled with teeny pieces, there is no turning back. 

The natural organizer in me wonders why Legos can't make the boxes like puzzle boxes - you know, ones with both a top and a bottom.  Or a plastic container like they have for Duplos and other products.  While my son loves putting his Legos together, I hate when those sets start to come apart.

For now, I am saying a little prayer every time we pull out the Legos.  I wish that I didn't have to store them in ziploc bags and hope to god we don't lose the instructions or mix up two sets together.   It's hard enough putting together hundreds of Lego pieces.  It's damn near impossible to keep track of them. 

Original post for the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog

It's genetic

I'm learning how to deal with the fact that it is only a matter of time before Darius buys (and rides) his own motorcycle.  I don't blame my dear sweet child for his passionate obsession.  It's his dad's fault.

There is something in his father's DNA that makes riding a motorcycle seem like a really great (and safe) idea.  Neville bought his first motorcycle before he was 18 yrs old.  In fact, he didn't even tell his parents until he showed up one day with it. 

Both of Neville's brothers own motorcycles.  Darius thinks this makes them the coolest Uncles ever.  Darius already talks about how he's going to buy a motorcycle when he's grown up.  After he buys his house because afterall he is the son of the Neville, Mr. "You-have-to-buy-a-house-before-anything-fun-in-life."

The idea of my son riding a motorcycle sends chills down my spine (and not in that good chills down the spine way).  It's not like I'm a big prude or am afraid he's going to join the Hells Angels. 

Giveaway: Welch's AquaJuice

Congrats to DemMom for winning the AquaJuice giveaway.  Please email me your shipping address at whosthebossblogATgmailDOTcom to receive your free bottle.

We are a juice family.  Darius is a juice kid.  He's a milk kid too.  But juice - especially apple juice - is one of his staples. 

I've always been one of those moms who waters down the juice.  I don't like to give him a full cup of the straight stuff - especially knowing that he is going to drink it all and ask for more.  So I've been stealthily adding a little extra H2O to his sippy cup for years.

When I heard that Welch's had a new juice called AquaJuice, I was determined to get my hands on bottle.  It has no high fructose corn syrup, less calories, and no artificial sweeteners.  It's "less juice" than regular juice without compromising on the flavor or quality of the juice.  Come on, we all know that when we water down the juice on our own we end up watering down the flavor too.