I am a WAHM. Work At Home Mom. I used to be a WOHM. Work Outside (of the) Home Mom. Same company. Same job. Same demands. Same paycheck.
With my new home office, I also get a new title in the blogging world. And, apparently, a new bulls-eye.
I work in good ole Corporate America. I work at a company that has somewhere near 90,000 employees. Our revenues are in the billions of dollars a year. And I do an important job of streamlining our back-office operations to make sure that the revenue we report to the "street" is accurate and true.
Sure, I have a little blog and a freelance writing job or two on the side that pays enough to cover my Costco bill every month. So the way I define being a WAHM mom is a little different than the new WAHM (aka bloggers now freelance writers) versus WOHM (aka all other working moms) firestorm that is blowing through the internets over this last week.
WAHM, WOHM, SAHM... can we come up with another four-letter acronym for motherhood? I've been them all and I'll tell you with sincere honesty:
They are all hard. And yes, they are all easy (in different ways). They all bring on mommy guilt. They all suck at times. And they are all rewarding.
I'm starting to feel like the Mommy Wars are the female version of a pissing contest. Except we take pride in who has it worse. WOHMs say it's the commute, the office, the little time at home makes them the winner for who has it toughest. The SAHMs confess about the little adult interaction, the financial sacrifice, the loss of identity, and argue that motherhood alone should count as work too. WAHMs can point to the muddied line between home and work and feeling like no one understands that while we may be at home that doesn't mean we aren't working.
See? We all have it worse than the other side. Whatever that other side may be... The grass on the other side is perfectly green. But look at my side? My side looks like a thousand dogs have pissed all over it.
Frankly, I've got way to much to do than to spend any time concerned about what you are doing. I don't feel the need to have to justify myself, my family, my childcare arrangements, or whatever else get criticized in these Mommy Wars.
I am different than you. I wear different shoes. I eat different foods. I wear granny panties. I don't see any other type of war going on for these (with exception to the outcry against visible panty line).
If you can accept that I work at a different profession or have a different hairstyle, why is it so hard for you to embrace that I may parent differently. Or have different work arrangements. Or even define the word "working" in totally different ways than you.
I used to think that the Mommy Wars was some media buzz word that helped sell books or newspapers. It's sad for me to see that we moms have internalized it to the point where we will jump anyone who has a different opinion. And while I think that is great that we can raise the dialog of the struggles of motherhood, I'm finding it just plain pathetic that we have to do so at the expense of a fellow mom.
So much for the sisterhood.
BTW, I linked to the blog posts above not to stir the pot or say one is better than the other but to get you up to speed if you haven't seen the shit-storm. All of these bloggers make excellent points and yes some take a few shameless stabs at "the other side." If you have learned nothing about bloggers its that we are passionate. It may be good, it may be bad, but it is never indifferent.
