For those of you who know me in real life or those of you who've read this blog for awhile, you know that Neville and I are not legally married. We had our own intimate commitment ceremony years ago. Yes, we often call each other husband and wife. And no, we don't call each other that because we want to "pretend" or play house. There is simply no other word, no other title, that seems to get through some people's thick skulls about our relationship.
So we lie. Okay. We are not legally husband and wife. If Neville gets run over by a truck tomorrow, I won't get his life insurance pay out. And that's okay with me. The not getting the money, not the part about him getting hit by the truck thankyouverymuch. I don't need Neville's money. I don't need Neville's work benefits. I don't need anything from Neville other than the man I love. I don't believe that a lavish wedding or a marriage certificate makes people committed to one another. We are committed. And yes, one day I may need Neville's benefits. Or he may need to make medical decisions on my behalf. And who knows, maybe one day we'll drive over to City Hall and he'll make an honest woman out of me.
Just don't hold your breath.
The truth of the matter is Neville and I aren't married because I don't want to be married. If it was important to me, then it would be important to him. If I wanted to be married, we would have done it years ago. Next year we'll celebrate 10 years together. This isn't a little fling.
Some of you may get it. Others of you don't. Frankly, I don't give a damn. I'm sick and tired of having to explain it.
But when you call my son a "bastard" because his parents decided to follow an nontraditional path, I draw a line.
You know who you are. And you are very, very lucky that I blog with integrity. Because it would be mighty easy for me to bash you. To expose the truth about you. To hurt you.
But I won't. Because I know the truth. Our son was created in love. He was welcomed into this world with two parents who love each other deeply and wanted to create a family. He's a blessing from God. And if we ever get blessed with another child, that child will also be born in love with two parents who've stayed together through thick and thin.
Your words hurt me. But they hold no power over me. I know the truth. And that's all that matters.
