Those of you in California have been bombarded with the reports of our own government sex scandal. For those of you too lazy to read the article (yes, I'm looking at you), here's my spin. A married Assemblyman shags a lobbyist then brags about such conquests (in lurid detail) to another Assemblyman during the break of a committee hearing. In front of microphones. That were still on. That recorded the whole thing. Oh and did I mention that it was also videotaped.
The idiot has resigned. And has also gone on the record to say that he made the whole thing up. Yeah right.
While his unethical, lewd, and ungentlemanly behavior cost him his career, let's use this as a learning opportunity one the chance that you decide to have your own office affair.
Lesson 1: Don't sleep with married men. Or married women. If you are married, the only person who should be seeing, diddling, or pleasuring your private parts is your spouse. Extramarital affairs never end well. So if you want to have sex with someone who isn't your spouse, make sure that you (or they) end their marriage first.
Lesson 2: Don't sleep with your boss. Or anyone else that can claim a conflict of interest.
Lesson 4: Don't record it. Don't make a sex-tape. You are not Paris Hilton. You will not become famous or like-able or get your own reality TV show.
Lesson 5: Don't tell your co-workers about your sexcapades. Trust me, they don't want to know. Really. Even if you banged a smokin' hot chick. Save it for your Guys Night Out at the hooty-bar.
Lesson 6: If you are a woman, make sure this dude's youknowwhat is worth losing your career. Because we still live in a misogynist culture that will blame you, will call you a slut, will spread rumors about how you did this to get ahead. Don't be surprised if you get all the backlash. And if you did do it to get ahead, own up to it. At least to yourself. Then slap yourself for not believing that your skills and talent were enough for that promotion.
Lesson 7: Seriously, if you still think that having an office affair is a smart idea after reading all this, then by all means: DO IT. You are so effing dumb you would have gotten fired eventually anyways.
