On Friday, I found out that I have a “rough kid.”
We had our first Parent-Teacher Conference on Friday. While the teachers said lovely things about my clearly brilliant child (wink, wink), they wrote on his assessment that he was “too rough” on the playground.
My kid? Darius? Sweet Darius? He’s a rough kid? Really?
I’m not buying it.
I don’t have a rough kid. I have a fair kid. A sensitive kid. A kid who sticks up for his friends. Who shares. A kid who has one very active imagination. A kid who is extremely active. Who can take a two-mile bike ride without complaining. Who can run non-stop during school recess and not get tired.
In other words, I have a boy. I typical five year old boy. And it’s becoming more clear to me as he grows that schools just don’t know how to deal with boys.
Darius and his friends run around on the playground playing Superheroes. From what I can gather that means that they each pick a hero (Spiderman, Superman, Batman, Red Power Ranger, Optimus Prime, etc.). They run and capture “bad guys.” Most of the time, the bad guys are imaginary. But occasionally one of the kids will agree to be the villain. Then the gang of Superheroes has to fight off the villain which often results in one hero getting captured and the other heroes having to not only defeat the villain but save their friend.
If you ask me, it’s totally basic boy play. All done in a 20 minute recess. With lots of running. And occasionally some wrestling, pushing, yelling, and other normal boy behavior.
Boys acting like boys.
I should point out that no boy has ever been hurt while playing Superheroes – that’s according to the teachers. Darius has pushed some of his friends a “little too hard” because he “doesn’t know his own strength.” Most of the time, the boys are just running from one side of the playground to the other. No one has been stepped on or punched or kicked. I wouldn’t consider this violent. I’m not even sure if I would call it rough.
But the school has. And they’ve enacted a “No Hands Rule” during recess because of my rough boy and what I can only imagine is his gang of hooligan friends.
So the boys can run around. And they can still play Superheroes. But they can’t touch each other with their hands. No grabbing. No pushing. No hold hands. No tapping on the shoulder. No hands.
Mind you, none of these boys ever hit their friends. I get the hands are not for hitting stance. But to not be able to use your hands during recess because god forbid you actually touch one of your friends when you are trying to save them from the evil dictator trying to rule the world.
When I dropped of Darius to school this morning, I lingered to witness this play for myself. I was curious to see how they played and if it was really too rough. I never witnessed anything rough. But my favorite part was when he and his friends “chest bumped” each other. No hands. No rule-breaking.
I told you my son is brilliant.
Photo of Darius meeting Po (aka KungFu Panda) at a blogging event last year. Darius insisted on being a Superhero too and even convinced his preschool teacher to give him a Batman Mask.
