Who's The Boss?

He has a girlfriend

I opened up Darius' backpack to find this

 
  Yes, that is a lipstick kiss at the bottom.  And I know the girl that gave it to him. 

Officially FAH-REAKING out now.
  

The Meeting Mistake

In October, I took an advanced 2-day course on Effective Meeting Management. In the first hour of the course, the instructor gave some shocking statistics:

• 91% of people are mentally distracted during a meeting
• 96% have intentionally missed all or part of a meeting
• 73% do other work while attending a meeting
• 39% sleep!

While the rest of the course was your typical meeting class filled with agendas, value messaging, asking probing questions to keep your participants engaged, and dealing with those difficult people who seem to think it’s their job to constantly ruffle your feathers, I learned everything I needed to with those statistics.

We are over scheduled with too many meetings that provide too little value.

Continue reading at Full Time, All the Time

I'll turn off the sprinklers before I'll take a 5 minute shower

My kindergartner came home last week with a ton of information about water conservation.  Apparently there had been a school assembly or something with folks from the water company.  He was so excited to share his new knowledge about how to use less water.  Don’t water our lawn every day!  We only water 3 times a week.  Don’t run the dishwasher until it is full!  Go look in the sink to see that we don’t always run the dishwasher even after it is full.  Take a 5 minute shower! Cough Cough… a what?

A five-minute shower.  Probably sounds pretty easy for a guy.  But for a woman, it’s hard.  Beyond hard.  It’s damn near impossible. And believe me I know.  Not only did my son get the talk on reducing our water consumption, he also got a timer to put in the shower  that beeps LOUDLY at you when you’ve gone over the 5 minute mark.  It’s as if it shouting at you that you are a bad person and destroying the environment with every second you stay in the shower.  Or maybe that’s just how I feel about it.

Over this past week, I’ve raced through the shower trying to get in under 5 minutes.  I’ve even turned off the water while I’m lathering up shampoo or letting my conditioner sit for minute.  You’ve only got 5 minutes of water before your son comes in shouting “IT’S BEEPING, MOM.  GET OUT THE SHOWER NOW.  YOU’RE WASTING WATER!” You can’t waste those precious minutes. 

I’ve never once made it less than 5 minutes.  I haven’t shaved in a week – that’s too much water wasted!  I gave up on brushing my teeth in the shower – one of my favorite things to do to really feel fresh and clean.  Not one second spent enjoying the hot water pounding on my back.  A hot shower is no longer relaxing.  All I can think how a hot shower is selfish.  It’s a hostile action to our environment.  It’s downright horrible.

This morning, I turned to my spouse and told him that he wasn’t allowed to shower today.  When he asked why, I told him frankly “Because this momma needs 10 minutes and I’m not gonna feel guilty about it.” Somebody has to sacrifice and this time it ain't gonna be me!

Original post for the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog

Over this past week, I’ve raced through the shower trying to get in under 5 minutes.  I’ve even turned off the water while I’m lathering up shampoo or letting my conditioner sit for minute.  You’ve only got 5 minutes of water before your son comes in shouting “IT’S BEEPING, MOM.  GET OUT THE SHOWER NOW.  YOU’RE WASTING WATER!” You can’t waste those precious minutes. 

I’ve never once made it less than 5 minutes.  I haven’t shaved in a week – that’s too much water wasted!  I gave up on brushing my teeth in the shower – one of my favorite things to do to really feel fresh and clean.  Not one second spent enjoying the hot water pounding on my back.  A hot shower is no longer relaxing.  All I can think how a hot shower is selfish.  It’s a hostile action to our environment.  It’s downright horrible.

This morning, I turned to my spouse and told him that he wasn’t allowed to shower today.  When he asked why, I told him frankly “Because this momma needs 10 minutes and I’m not gonna feel guilty about it.” Somebody has to sacrifice and this time it ain't gonna be me!

Original post for the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog

I'm pretty sure it makes me the best Room Mom ever

I just finished hosting a sneak preview for the new Curious George movie with almost half of Darius' kindergarten class.  In fact, Neville is still vacuuming up the leftover popcorn that has somehow managed to make it from the living room to the entire rest of the house. 

12 kids + 12 juice boxes + 12 bags of popcorn + 12 bananas = 1 very tired mother

The kids had a fab time and actually sat still and watched the movie for 40 minutes (the movie is just under an hour long) so I was a very happy host.  I figured the kids would be so distracted and hyped up to see each other outside of school that it would be an act of God to get them to sit still.

ohthankyouLordJesusChristforthismiracle.

I, of course, didn't actually watch the movie.  I was too busy refilling popcorn, replacing juice boxes, and reminding kids that if they wanted to keep their food they had to keep their little bodies off my couch. 

The good, the fabulous, and the "I wish I could afford it"

I've been writing for the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog for over three years.  I will always give Jill credit for igniting a passion for writing inside of me that I never knew existed.  As one of the original writers, I will always feel like I own a little piece of the blog's success and I will always feel like I owe the blog a lot of my own success.  So color me happy when 50 Silicon Valley bloggers got together to have the ultimate swag party.  As I walked out with my arms heavy from all the swag, after what felt like three very short hours, I knew that once again Jill and her team hit it out of the park.

The party was so professional.  Each blogger was giving a card with each vendor.  As you went around to each booth, you didn't have to worry about a vendor running out of goodies or feel rushed to get through it all.  If you've ever been to a BlogHer conference, you know the adrenaline rush you get when walking into the sponsor rooms.  There's not enough swag to go around.  So people get pushy.  And rude.  And downright horrible.  It was more than refreshing to be in a forum where you are talking to people who want to show you their product without all that competitive bullshit.  It was awesome.  

Getting prepared for the next "BIG ONE"

 I’m ashamed to admit that we’ve never discussed disaster preparedness or emergency plans with Darius.  I’m not sure if it is because, when he was little, it was OUR job to make sure he stayed safe if there was an earthquake or fire.  I’m also sure that we’ve gotten lazy and complacent.  Where we live in Northern California, there hasn’t been a big disaster since the ’89 Quake.  Yes, there’ve been fires – but not where we live.  There’s been mudslides – but not where we live.  The closest thing we’ve had to a disaster is losing our fence in a fierce storm two years ago and having a few hours without power every year during the first storm.

On Monday, I went to CityMama’s adorable apartment to hear from California Volunteers about Disaster Preparedness.  I was only a little ashamed that I haven’t done anything to be prepared.  It was a morning that was more informative and thought-provoking than I ever realized disaster preparedness could be.   And I learned that you don’t have to be a freakishly perfect to get it all done either. Simple things like:

Remembering my Grandfathers on Veteran's Day

Both of my Grandpa's were military men.  Both grew up dirt poor in the rural South.  Both knew what it felt like to go hungry.  Both felt the military was the only option to pull themselves out of deep poverty.

My mom's dad, Skip, was a career Navy man. He enlisted in the Navy when he was just 17.  He loved everything about the Navy - even boot-camp.  I remember my Grandpa saying that it was the first time in his life that he felt like home.  Three square meals a day, a cot to sleep on, and money in his pocket.  He felt like he hit the jackpot. My Grandpa and Grandma lived all over the world during my Grandpa's 20 year service.  All of his four children where conceived or born overseas.

My dad's dad, Woody, was a Marine. Woody was an MP in the Marines.  His job was to pull drunk guys out of bars when they didn't make it back to the base in time for curfew. He survived Malaria twice and was a tough as tough could come.  In fact, he never disciplined his children for fear that he would forget they were just kids and not insubordinate Marines.

For my Grandpas, the military was the only option.  Neither had finished high school.  Neither had any hopes of college - that was for rich boys.  In the military, they learned skills that landed them real jobs when they retired from actively serving their country.  When I look back at the legacy they've left behind, their years in the military changed their lives and the lives of their children and their children's children. 

Both of my Grandfathers have passed, but their stories remain alive in their wives and their children.  Neither ever served on the front lines of war, but knew many of the men who did.  They both talked somberly of those that gave up their lives for the freedom of this nation and the freedom of those on foreign soil. Both had a deep love for America, their families, and God. None of the men in my family have served in the military since my Grandfathers. After living through more than one war, my grandfathers didn't want their children to fight in one. 

As a child listening to their stories of war, I am sure that they left out the gory details and talked of romantic memories about their military days.  As an adult, I realize now all of the details that they didn't share, stories that would never be re-told, the demons and nightmares being omitted to save a little girl from the real atrocities of war.

On Veteran's Day, I light a candle to Skip and Woody.  I light another for the men currently serving in the war on Iraq and Afghanistan.  And I light a third for Peace. 

Original post for the nSilicon Valley Mom's Blog

If I wasn't so environmentally conscious, we'd eat on paper plates

You know it's gonna be a long week when you go to bed with a clean sink and the dishwasher running, but then wake up to this

It's like the mother's edition of The Twilight Zone.  Finish cleaning the sink and dirty dishes reappear immediately. It's enough to make any sane person go out of their mind.  I wouldn't be surprised if the reason that centuries ago when doctors recommended labotomies to women that those women had gone crazy from the housework alone. 
 

Should companies promote charitable giving?

My spouse called me from his office on Monday to tell me to arrange for a sitter (aka Grandpa) to watch our son on Thursday night. He was just invited to a wine tasting event where some of his company’s executives would be attending. I could tell that he was excited at the opportunity and anxious that his individual contributor title would interfere in networking with Senior Directors and Vice Presidents. While one of my strengths is being able to work a room and make lots of small talk, my spouse is more likely to find one person and hold 'em hostage for a night talking about the same topic. I made the arrangements, put on a new dress, and was prepared to play the role of the supportive wife.

Last night, we showed up a local hotel to mingle with influential people in his company. Imagine our surprise when we walked into a charity event with a live auction, silent auction, and goal of raising more than ten thousand dollars for the cause. I turned to my spouse and whispered “Awkward.”

Continue reading at Full Time, All the Time

Granny panties

In a crowded restroom...

"Mom, why does your underwear go so high."

"Because I like it that way."

"You want your belly button covered?"

"Yes.  Now sshhh."

"Are you afraid that people are going to poke your belly button?"

"No, Darius.  I'm quite certain that no one is going to poke my belly button."

"Well I think you have some growing up to do, Mom.  Your undies are WAY TOO BIG."

Happy Halloween

About 3 years ago, when Darius was around 2, we decided to begin hosting an annual Pumpkin Carving Party. When D was little, he wouldn't go near the inside of the pumpkin.  This year, he lasted about 5 minutes before he went inside to play with my God-daughter, Bella.  So if the past is any prediction to the future, he'll carve his own pumpkin when he's 23.

I know, you are all thinking that Ya-Ya carved this one of Yoda. This one is all me, thankyouverymuch.  And I managed to do this without swearing once or totally losing my cool, so I say that clearly I'm the winner!  Take that, Ya-Ya.

Neville, who I love to tease for never really getting a "real childhood" carved the first pumpkin of his entire life. It's the little one on the left.  The one that Darius was supposed to carve himself.  That was before Darius realized thast Ya-Ya could do a way better job than he could so he left it to the professional.  Which basically sums up every art project in my entire life.  What's that old saying "Those who can can, those who can't teach."  All my life it's basically been "Those who can't, call Ya-Ya."